thinking, probably too much

what am i doing right now? sitting here on the couch in my little mini apartment thinking. nitro is sitting with me, snuggling into my side. he’s such a sweet boy.

i’ve been doing some more thinking about jess. a friend asked me if her mom has guardianship of her and what happens to her. i think she does. i know her mom was instramental in having her placed in the long term psych facility she’s in now. she did not want her to live with her any longer. and to this day since she went in her mom says she doesnt want her to come home.

it was notjess’s choice to go there. she didnt want to go. she didnt fight it because she really couldnt. she was admitted to hospital for two weeks, a psych ward, and sent to royal oaks straight from the hospital. there was no choice.

i know she was struggling. i know she had been really depressed and psychotic. she had been having hallucinations and struggling to function day to day. she was seeing a case manager at the time. and her therapist also but she was only seeing her therapist every 3 weeks at the time, due again to her mom not being able to take her and jess having no other way of getting there because her mom sold her car.

if you ask me, and i know her, i’ve seen her enought imes when i visited, her mom is a control freak. her mom is a social worker by profession. she adopted jess when jess was 10. they do not really have the best of relationships. she adopted her, promising to help her, help her recover from her trauma, she never sent her to therapy. she didnt do anything to help her.

she knows jess has did. she is totally aware of it. she entertains it when and if she feels like it. i dont know how many times she has rejected the littles though. i cant count the amount of times i have sat with them as they cried feeling unwanted and unloved.

its so sad. and now she’s controlling them again. now she has all of the say over what happens in their life. its devastating.

Does anyone know what happens or will happen if jess’s mom does have guardianship of her and she dies?

I’m not sure how the system works in the USA?

This is the stuff I am thinking about tonight.

carol anne

Author: Carol Anne

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

12 thoughts on “thinking, probably too much”

  1. Has Jess ever been able to function on her own: have a job, go to school? It sounds like her mom decided she knew it all and that Jess didn’t need a therapist other than her. How does the guardianship issue work in Ireland? It sounds like Jess isn’t the same kind of fighter that you are.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes she went to school, she has a degree in psychology and she did half of her Masters in social work as well she had to drop out due to having a manic episode, she’s never lived on her own though, Eileen says she doesn’t have the same internal resources as I do, she doesn’t seek independence or stand up for herself in anyway


  2. That must be so frustrating for you both. I’m very sorry, I wish I could help more. It’s awful that Jess’s mum wants to take advantage of the fact that she’s dependent on her and is so controlling. It’s so sad that Jess can’t change her situation in any way and must stay there for so long and that no one can help her. Hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. If her mom has named a backup or co-guardian, it legally transfers to them. If she hasn’t, it transfers to an appointed agent of the state. Do NOT let that happen. There are few enough rights for the guardian against an abusive state system with clear guardianship by a loving relative. There are virtually none in many/most states for those without even that thin line. A law protecting someone may exist on paper, but if it isn’t enforced, it effectively doesn’t exist in the U.S. States do not enforce, and the number of protective services reports of abuse that are swept under the rug would shock you. (Well, probably not you all, specifically, but would shock those who haven’t been there.) Jess has all the characteristics of someone who can resume guardianship of herself, even if she chooses to stay in supportive housing. I’d suggest she start those processes well in advance of that ever happening. They can be painful in their own right if her mom challenges, but see if she can get it changed to a more limited “power of attorney” for financial and medical decision making only when she is in active psychosis or otherwise incapacitated, not always.


  4. Also, odd thought, but she could name a non family member, like a dear friend, as a guardian. I say that because it sounds like she has sought out her own support network, whom she trusts, and they may be candidates if her mom cannot be trusted.


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