Jess

ok so i know a couple of you might not know, but my partner, jess, whose also multiple and has bipolar and ptsd and anxiety and a couple other issues, has been in psych residential for 2 and a half years, with no sign of her getting out of there any time soon.

I just talked to her. Tonight she was doing well. She was talkative and chatted easily. She told me her last case worker left suddenly, and now she has a new girl, this is like her third or fourth one since she’s been there.

Anyway. I asked her if she felt isolated, she said yes. She is also so lonely. She says you get used to it but that she does feel lonely a lot.

She has a new room mate but the roommate told her she was going to get a gun and shoot her. apparently the roommate hears voices and talks to them constantly all day long. Jess went to the head of department and they told her to give the roommate 3 days to see if anything changes, and if not, they’d find her another roommate.

I am like this is not good enough! Not acceptible!

She says she hasnt been to therapy in a couple of months, because nursing staff dont schedule the transport, or call cathy to make her an appointment. She has no phone because her mom decided in her wisdom to cut off her phone service saying since she was in royal oaks she doesnt need it any longer.

I am feeling sad tonight because I miss her. I miss our long talks. I miss hearing all her news, hearing about her life, I miss my kids in her system, my babies, I miss their sweet voices, their cute antics.

I just miss them all.
carol anne

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Author: manyofus1980

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

17 thoughts on “Jess”

  1. Unfortunately, the mental health system here is not that great. They’ve been shutting down a lot of mental hospitals which sends a lot of the mentally ill into the streets. Is Jess’s system as big and complicated as yours? Do the kids in your system know the kids in hers?

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  2. I’m sorry to hear that hunny 😔 she does deserve better. It’s really sad. I’m thinking of all of you. How long have you 2 been together? How did you meet? I’m both intrigued and saddened by your story with Jess. I hope she gets better treatment soon xx

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    1. We’ve been together since 2000, we met online in a chat room for people with date, we talked and emailed for a couple of years and then in 2005 I went to visit her for the same Patrick’s week, it all went from there, visited a lot of time to over the years

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    1. I don’t know, I haven’t heard of that happening, it was up to her mum her adoptive mum, she put her in there, I know jesses and Adult technically but her mum had all of the say because she lived at home with her

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  3. That is so sad for both of you. Can she get any type of advocate to work on her behalf to get her our and into less intensive care but still allow her independence from her nom? That is how we get people out after long periods like that in the states. 2 1/2 years is a long, long time!! She can begin to get that institutionalized feeling and no longer feel safe on her own but a home with staff and support but a bit more feeedom and independence. Is that something she could do? I’m so sorry Carol Anne. My wife and I have been together 27 years and I could not imagine being away from her for 2 1/2 years already. You are both in my prayers.

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    1. I don’t know if it’s possible, I wish it was, the thing is she’s not a person to stand up for herself, or to advocate on her own behalf, she just doesn’t seem to have the resources to do that within her, so I don’t know, it’s sad though, I wish I knew how to get an advocate for her

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  4. My God, it’s so long since you didn’t see her… It’s so sad. I’m very sorry for Jess’s situation, which seems to be pretty difficult and that you miss her so much. That has to hurt a lot, not seeing your loved one for so long, not hearing regularly from her and not knowing when or if she will come out of there. I can easily imagine how hard it must be for you. Do you have at least something that reminds you of her? Something like Eileen’s rose scent bottle for example?

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    1. Oh yes I have lots of things that remind me of our lots of gifts I think she has given me over the years that remind me of her and people in her system like stuffed animals and CDs and other items

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  5. That’s too bad. It’s good you’re able to live on your own and handle on own affairs. As to the other situation, it was a woman who had a part that kept trying to kill her and no amount of therapy did any good. the woman was married with young children and it got to the point where the husband just couldn’t watch over both her and the kids to make sure this teenage part didn’t do something stupid. the part had announced she was going to kill the host because she didn’t like her and was tired of coming out and seeing the husband and kids. the woman and her husband both decided she’d be safer in the hospital. I don’t know how long she was planning to stay but I suspect it was probably a long time.

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    1. Oh, that’s so sad, before Jess went in she had a really tough couple of months she had really bad depression and psychosis and she was just really bad off, really struggling, it was awful to watch, she’s had a few of those episodes and she’s been in there too

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  6. It would be awful to have a system where there were no protectors and nobody was really your friend. This lady had a couple of kids, a teenager that didn’t like kids and the adult that would come out and go to bars and buy things and try to spend all of the host’s money. she was also the one that decided she didn’t like the host, her husband or her three girls. Not a fun situation! The husband was a positive angel and very supportive and didn’t bat an eyelash when she would switch from an adult to a five year old in the middle of the isle at the store. The little girls also got used to their mother switching to a five-year-old.

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  7. I read this after I read your later post. Depending on which state she is in, I may have a few suggestions for mental health non-profits you both can reach out to. I am traveling, so won’t be able to really respond on personal accounts until I am back, unfortunately.

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