it was intense. a couple of us spoke during it. we had a lot to discuss.
first emily came out and told eileen willow had bought razors. she was so anxious and she told eileen there were parts that did not want her to say anything, they didnt want eileen to know that willow had bought the razors. eileen thought it would be more productive if she spoke to willow directly.
willow came forward and they talked. she asked her what was going on, what the deal was. willow said she felt like rubbish, eileen told her in no way was she rubbish, that her story was important to her.
eileen then asked her which part of her wanted to cut. at first willow said she didnt know. but then she said a teenage part, about 13 years old. so eileen asked her if the part had a name. she did. she said her name was kira.
then eileen spoke to kira directly. she wanted to reassure her that she did not have to resort to cutting now, that it was 2017 now, we lived in cork, she said she realised kira was stuck in the past and had been triggered into remembering.
after another little while eileen asked would it be ok if she gently tucked all the younger insiders in, so we said they could go into the room inside that has eileen in it. so eileen did a visual exercise of herself bringing them all in to that room. she said they’d be safe in there while the older insiders and her discussed some stuff.
after tucking them safely in we all went to the meeting room on the inside. there was me jade, carol anne, liz, allison, kris, savanna, katrina, willow, wendy, pixie, cora, amongst others. we started discussing some things. we discussed ways in which we could show insiders that didnt know about present day life, show them about how we live now.
i decided we could make a screen, like a one way mirror, and show them some things about life today, things about the outside world. so that is what we did. and i started to show them some stuff like friends from our present, our niece and nephew, nitro, how we are applying for college etc.
i told them that this is now, these friends arent from our past. our niece and nephew arent from our past. they are all in present day time.
after that we talked about intrajects for a while. we talked about how we have insiders in our system who replicate abusers, they look like them, they act like them. obviously they arent abusers but eileen says they took in what the abusers told us. we talked about ways in which we could reach them. we tried to reach out to them but there was no response, so obviously they arent ready yet to come on bord and get involved in therapy.
Overall it was a good session. We got a lot of work done. A lot got accomplished today.