Attachment pain hurts

i’m feeling so much attachment pain right now.

i just want a cuddle from eileen. I am craving one and have been all evening.

Yes I can get one from her tomorrow, I know that, but I need her now, not tomorrow. I wish the hours would speed by so it was 10 AM tomorrow morning.

10 AM is our session time. And I cant wait.

i want to say to her tomorrow that i dont ever want her to leave me. that i dont feel secure at all in our relationship at the moment. why? because old triggers have come back.

they are threatening my stability and my sense of security and i dont like it. i want to tell her all this. but not sure i can. i’m too scared.

right now i feel hurt and ashamed and abandoned and emotional. i feel like i cant do this i cant feel this level of attachment pain.

but i dont have a choice. i cant phone eileen, she’s probably in bed. i did email her. and i decided to write here and reach out to my friends for support.

so if your reading this, and can offer any advice or suggestions, i’m all ears.

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Author: manyofus1980

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

19 thoughts on “Attachment pain hurts”

  1. I am so sorry that you are hurting. I know your pain. Sometimes when I lay in bed I wrap the blankets tightly around me and close my eyes and try to remember how it feels to be snuggled up close to Cindy. (My therapist). Do you still have Eileen’s perfume bottle?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m sorry you craved Eileen so much yesterday. I think now it’s better, ’cause you’ll see her very soon or even saw her already probably, but I send you lots of hugs anyway if you want and hope you got, or will get, a hug from Eileen. 🙂

    Like

  3. I am sorry that you are going though this friend. I understand how bad attachment pain can be. I was looking forward to my appts today and I had to cancel them due to a health issue I have going on at the moment. Stay strong.

    Liked by 1 person

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