i’m feeling so much attachment pain right now.
i just want a cuddle from eileen. I am craving one and have been all evening.
Yes I can get one from her tomorrow, I know that, but I need her now, not tomorrow. I wish the hours would speed by so it was 10 AM tomorrow morning.
10 AM is our session time. And I cant wait.
i want to say to her tomorrow that i dont ever want her to leave me. that i dont feel secure at all in our relationship at the moment. why? because old triggers have come back.
they are threatening my stability and my sense of security and i dont like it. i want to tell her all this. but not sure i can. i’m too scared.
right now i feel hurt and ashamed and abandoned and emotional. i feel like i cant do this i cant feel this level of attachment pain.
but i dont have a choice. i cant phone eileen, she’s probably in bed. i did email her. and i decided to write here and reach out to my friends for support.
so if your reading this, and can offer any advice or suggestions, i’m all ears.