Murder suicide

last night i watched a really moving documentary. it was shown for world suicide prevention month. it was on an irish tv station called tv 3. google murder in the family tv 3 ireland and it should come up and you might be able to watch it. it was a documentary about families where a member of the family killed other family members and then killed themselves. there were four families featured on it. a mother who killed her two little girls by drowning them, then she killed herself. a father who crashed his car with his two little boys in it he was trying to kill himself but he didnt succeed in doing that yet he managed to kill his two sons. a mother was on talking about her 21 year old son who killed his 9 year old twin brothers by stabbing them and then he hung himself. and another father who killed his two little girls before killing himself. basically the family members who were speaking in the documentary were saying that if they’d only known how sick their loved ones actually were, if they’d known more about their individual mental illnesses that they might have seen the warning signs, or known what to do to help them better. because of confidentiality here in ireland family members arent really told about your treatment unless you specifically request them to be told. the mother of the 21 year old was saying if she had known how sick her son was he had schizophrenia, bipolar and anxiety disorder, and she was saying how if she knew how ill he truly was, she wouldnt have left her other children with him. the father who killed his little girls, his wife was on and she said a similar thing that she should have been made more aware of his individual symptoms, she should have been able to go in and speak to his doctors. she said she thought he’d only gone in and told them what he wanted them to hear, and he hadnt really given a full and complete picture of what it was like at home. i dont know if i agree that confidentiality should be lifted. i think everyone deserves a right to privacy, unless they are dangerous, none of these people had ever been violent or dangerous in any way, so then i suppose it is about how do you know, how can you tell, when its time to tell family about the persons mental illness. who agrees or disagrees? do you think family should be told about your illness from the get go? would you want that? I urge you to try and watch the documentary if you can.

Author: Carol Anne

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

12 thoughts on “Murder suicide”

  1. Yes! I have seen this! And i actually got very angry. I have been watching mostly documentaries lately and learning a lot.
    I got angry because I have TOLD people how I feel but still feel disregarded. So it made me think well if no one knows what these people are going through then no there is no way to help them. It was heartbreaking but educational

    Liked by 1 person

  2. bethanyk really has a point here. When you come out with how you feel you are often dismissed in ways of “But you don’t look like this” etc. and people often ignore you rather than ask how they can help. How many disasters could have been prevented eben those people would have felt cared for and accepted.

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  3. There is a reason confidentiality exists – it’s so people feel safe getting the help they need. If your family were told (bear in mind your family might include an abuser) how safe would you feel accessing help? You wouldn’t. If the 16yr old whose father rapes her and left her pregnant knew that if she went to her GP for help with the pregnancy and her natural anxiety and PTSD, he’d be told, what would she do? Probably kill herself instead without ever asking for help. Imagine how you’d feel if Dr Barry or Eileen were obliged to report on your illness to your family? You wouldn’t tell either of them anything! I certainly would not tell Claire much (I’m actually battling this dilemma – what to tell her… would she break my confidentiality and report it if I do etc at the moment) if my family were kept up to date with my illness!

    Lack of confidentiality would push mental illness even FURTHER underground. All clinicians can do is report to authorities (not family) if they feel someone (a child or an elder) is at risk but like you said, they don’t always know.

    To be utterly blunt… there would be far more suicides if the right to confidentiality were taken away than there ever will be suicide killings with confidentiality in place.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I have not seen this documentary nor do I know if I personly could. I am the daughter of a women that was killed in a murder-suicide 28 years ago this past February 1st. No one truly know how to respond when I do tell them how my mom had died. Some years are better then others that is for sure. I see a lot of people thinking that mental illness is the reason that people have killed their family members and themselves. From where I’m sitting, it is way more then just mental illness that is the reason that people do this. All any of us can do is speculate after such a tragedy. All we are left with is questions.
    Why did they do this?
    What happened to them that lead to

    Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s more like therapy for me. Sometimes it helps to tell my mom’s story. Most of what I have put on here has been the memories of her and what has happened. At times I look for support groups in my home town but with no luck as I am the child not a parent. Right now I’m trying to see if I can find the stories that were printed of her death so I can add them to my littlemommy200 blog. So far no luck with finding them I know one was printed in the paper in Sue Saint Marie and the other in the Bay City times but they were buried.


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