oh god…

i want to die i cant take the pain i cant face yet another memory i just cant do it.
i wish i hadnt made a contract with eileen, because i promised her, i promised her i would stay safe…
why did I promise?
why?
I need a hug and a friend because I am feeling so alone right now…
Amber

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Author: manyofus1980

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

15 thoughts on “oh god…”

  1. PLEASE KNOW THAT YOU’RE NOT ALONE! I’m here if you need to talk even though we are of different countries ❤
    Please stay safe!! xoxoxoxo

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  2. We care too. We know the struggle. Hold tight and know you are loved and cared for. It sounds like Eileen really does have your best interests at heart. I am glad you have her to.work with. Hugs to you.

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  3. Hey!! Although I’m a new blogger, I like to give people what is on my mind. I will be a total stranger here but I just wanna let you know that you’re never alone… wishing yourself death is so not an option here cause out there people still care about you, I care about you, so just in case you need someone to talk to about anything, I am always here to help out☺

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much it’s so kind of you, a little about me, I am an altar in a date system did stands for dissociative identity disorder, or body is 37 but I am only 15, I get suicidal a lot. I live in Ireland where do you live and what is your blog about

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      1. I am from Nigeria and I live there too…since I started the blog just yesterday, I haven’t really focused it on a particular thing cause everything I’ve thought of has been taken by way more popular blogs so I’m just posting random news people might not get across online. And you should get suicidal dear, no matter what, as long as there is life there is hope! You should check out one of my posts on suicide and read it. I really think it’ll help you! I’m here to help you with any advice you need.
        Your follow to my blog would also mean a LOT to me. Thanks

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  4. Amber, I’m always here if you need to talk. I’m sorry you’re feeling so painful and overwhelmed by memories, though I hope it lessened already. I know that now it may hurt that you promised Eileen to stay safe, but I also know you’ll appreciate it that she wanted you to promise it. She really cares about you, about you all. And we all your readers care too. Hugs! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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