OMG GUYS I’M A MESS

I’M SO ANXIOUS AND AFRAID. I’M A SOBBING MESS. I DONT WANT TO SAY GOODBYE TO KAREN TOMORROW. I DONT WANT TO BUT I HAVE TO. I DONT HAVE A CHOICE.

GOD I WILL MISS HER. AND GOD I HATE BEING VULNERABLE. I HATE HAVING EMOTIONS. THEY MAKE ME SO FREAKED OUT.

I FEEL OVERWHELMED AND AM HURTING. I WANT THIS PAIN TO FUCKING GO AWAY. BUT IT DOESNT.

HOW DO I SAY GOODBYE? ITS GONNA BE SO DIFFICULT. I SUCK AT GOODBYES. I SUCK SO MUCH AND I JUST DONT WANT TO DO IT.

ITS AWKWARD. I’M AWKWARD.

IF I CRY, WHAT WILL KAREN AND DR. BARRY THINK OF ME?

WILL I LOOK PATHETIC?

OH GOD GUYS I AM A MESS!
LIZ

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Author: manyofus1980

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

19 thoughts on “OMG GUYS I’M A MESS”

  1. Hi Liz,
    I’m sorry this all has to be so tough.
    I think if you do cry tomorrow, if you’re a sobbing mess even, you will be being real and neither Karen or Dr Barry will think any less of you for it. They know what you’ve been through and why these relationships mean so much to you, and why it’s so hard to say goodbye to someone who has been such a valuable member of your team.
    You’re not a mess, you’re having normal reactions to a painful situation. Painful but survivable. I’m sure Dr Barry and the rest of your team will help you through this.
    Many ((((hugs)))) my heart really does go out to you. xx

    Liked by 2 people

      1. You are definitely not weak, darling, you’re incredibly strong to deal with all that you do.
        You’re vulnerable, in pain and struggling with a big challenge, all of which is completely understandable.
        You’re going to get through this. xx

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Loss is not easy for anyone, but when you have been through tough things in your life it can be very triggering. It takes us back to the feelings we had in moments of trauma. Your pain is deep and real. I hope you can be kind to yourself through this difficult loss for you. My heart goes out to you! Hugs!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Liz, I send hugs your way, there’s not much I can do, I guess, I’m sorry you’re hurting so badly. I was thinking of you in the morning, sending you some support. Hope it helped a bit. And I told you guys before, I don’t think crying’s a shame, I don’t think that either Karen or Dr Barry would judge you if you’d cry. It’s a normal, human reaction for sad things touching us, don’t suppress your tears if you feel like crying. Maybe it will help to let things out.

    Like

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