I DONT WANNA AND YOU CANT MAKE ME

IM NOT GOING BACK TO THERAPY, I HATE IT. I HATE EILEEN. SHE IS SO PUSHY. SHE WANTS ME TO TALK ABOUT HARD STUFF. AND I CANT. AND I DONT WANT TO. AND I WONT. I’M QUITTING. I’M NOT GOING TO GO NEXT WEEK. I’LL JUST KILL MYSELF TOMORROW AFTER KAREN LEAVES. EVERYONE LEAVES ME IN THE END, AND EILEEN WILL TOO. SO WILL DR. BARRY. SO WHY TRUST ANYONE? ITS NOT WORTH IT.

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Author: manyofus1980

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

16 thoughts on “I DONT WANNA AND YOU CANT MAKE ME”

  1. Sending much love and strengths your way. Please know that you are not alone and we all hurt, sometimes more, sometimes less. Try to become aware of your thoughts during the tough times as this will help to hold them at bay. Hang in there, you are needed. Xo

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      1. I know it is but giving up is not optional a friend once told me as I was in your shoes. It helped me through and reminded me if how selfish it is to make an end and how much hurt we inflict on those who love us. In the end I realized that I wasn’t a selfish person and that this was not only about me.

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    1. I don’t know, I guess so, but I’m not going to kill myself I just said that in anger, I was sad and upset, I’m okay now though I feel safer, I won’t be killing myself so don’t worry, I’m still going to be here surviving and fighting on

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  2. Hang on guys… if someone has suicidal thoughts… telling them they are selfish and not to be trusted is NOT the right way to go about helping them!! It’s like trying to get them to feel better by telling them they are wrong. Leave Liz (assuming hunny, given the writing style that Liz wrote this?) alone. I trust that she is keeping herself safe. She is free to feel and express herself in whatever way she feels is best for her. Don’t tell her that’s wrong. I understand why she’s hurting, she’s been through so much. To ask her to carry on living that for someone else’s benefit is what is selfish, not her taking her own life. The best way to help someone who is suicidal is to UNBURDEN THEM not give them another burden of ‘you are selfish/untrustworthy’ come on. Surely if you have been here, you know this? Let Liz talk and be there for her without judgement and she will turn things around on her own. She needs love and safety not judgement.

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  3. Oh no, I felt scared. :/ Good that you now feel better though. I supposed you didn’t really mean you will kill yourself, but I felt worried even though. I hope you are aware that Karen’s not leaving because she wants, because of you, because she wasn’t worth your trust. But I know that when people failed you so often, it’s hard to think that Karen didn’t, but try to think rationally, that she doesn’t leave because of you. And when it comes to Eileen, I’m also sure you don’t hate her. I know that opening up in therapy is painful, but this pain is necessary. It helps with your healing and Eileen doesn’t want you to open up with your feelings because she’s so malicious, wants you to hurt and whatever, she just wants you to let it all out of yourself, so that it won’t be so painful anymore. But I believe you know it and it was anger causing you to say that you hate her. Big hugs! ๐Ÿ™‚ I hope you don’t feel too overwhelmed after seeing Karen? Write if anything.

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