i got talk to dr. barry today. i got to have mosta the session. t was good i telled her how scared i was of the voises. how they were mean to me and telled me to hurt the body and hurt myself. she listened and she said how did i manage. and then itelled her about eileen and wat she tol me to do. and i telled her that i tried to do the things she said last night. like turning the volume of the voises down. and when i see the blood to change the color of it. she said it is good i am using my resourses. we talked about karen. i tol her my hart hurts becuase she leaving. she said it hard when you are losing someone important frum your life. she said that its hard to be hapy for karen and then to deal wif the feling of losing her too. i said ya it is. we ar gonna say goodbye to karen next week. we have a card for her and we writed a nice message inside it. i told dr. barry that i got stuked out last night. and this mornin. and i couldnt get back inside agin. i tried and tried but i culdnt. it skary cuz then i have to manage and try to be a growned up. and i cant do it. im not good at actin like a growned up. i tol dr. barry that i wish the bosses who gave karen the promoton wuld keep her on dr. barrys team. she said unfortunatly it dosnt work like that. and i said i wished it did. my dr. barry is so kind. she talk sofly to me. and she realy lisens to at i have to say. she never tries to get rid of me or say she has enough of me or noothin. i love her cuz shes special. she the best doctor. my best. and karen is my best social worker. i tol her we writed in te card yur simply the best. we talk about sarah and i said i am nervous to meet her. dr. barry said it wil be ok. that sarah kno to ask for carol anne or liz but if one of us kids comes out she is ok with it. and she wil talk to us and she wil be nice to us. i glad of that. dr. barry talked to her about us. so she knows and that is good. i not lookin forward to next week and sayin goodbye to karen. i think i wil cry. it gonna be so hard. i will hug her real hard and i wont wanna let go. dr. barry is gonna be there too i think. i glad bout that. it helps that she will be there too.