therapy break, one week down…a letter i wrote eileen

hi eileen its me allie. i hope you are having a good holiday. you are probably gone by now. i wish i was gone with you. i wish i knew where you went. i should have asked. but you probably wouldnt have told me would you? do you miss me? well i miss you. i miss you a ton. sometimes i miss you so much that my heart hurts it feels like theres a knife going through it. i feel bad because i know you dont take many holidays or weeks off and i know you said you’d see us next tuesday. only another week to go yay. i am so glad. its been so hard not having you here. i wanted to text but didnt because carol anne said it wouldnt be fair. i think it is good i can still email you this letter though. that makes me feel happy. we had a good time on respite this weekend. we went to mahon point on saturday. i got to sample the perfume that you and dr. barry wear. that was fun. i sprayed a ton of it on me. i wanted to buy some but it costed 60 euro so we couldnt at least not on saturday. maybe we can save for it. we did get to go to starbux though and have a cookie as a treat. it was a double chocolate one. on sunday we went into the city centre. we went for coffee in the old oak and guess what? nitro puked everywhere. it was so embarrassing. the bar peope were nice tho they didnt mind and they even gave us a bowl of water for him. that was good i think. i wonder what your up to now. i wonder are ou on a beach or by the pool. i bet the sun is shining where you are. it was raining here tonight. pouring down and i was so glad to be inside. we went to the basement club today. we are back volunteering there now again. carol anne likes doing that. i just like being there because it feels safe to me. carol anne applied to do a course in college of commerce. its part time. it starts in september but there are only a certain number of places. and she doesnt know if she’ll get one or not but she wanted to try. im not sure how i feel about going to college. i know you would say its an adult thing and i shouldnt worry about that. i’m picturing you saying that to us now hahaha. see? i know you well dont i? i know you’d say i am too young and i shouldnt worry that you will work it out with the adults and think up good ways to keep me and the rest of the kids safe. i just hope we get to have kid time at other times when they arent doing college work, thats if we get on the course. i want to watch a movie tomorrow. i think i wanna see inside out. i love that one. its all about emotions. have you seen it? its very good. well i guess i’d better go now. its late and i should be asleep. i hope your having fun, i love you and miss you so come back soon.
love and hugs,


Author: manyofus1980

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

13 thoughts on “therapy break, one week down…a letter i wrote eileen”

  1. Hi Allie. What a lovely letter. It seems like you’re still feeling a connection to Eileen – you can imagine the things she’d say to you – even though she’s on a break, and that’s really good.
    My therapist recommended the film Inside Out to me in our session last week. I’m going to watch it sometime this week. xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi therapy,
    I am sorry you are struggling with this disorder. I know about it from a television show I used to watch. They did research to make sure it was realistic.
    I know Ritu. I met you at Jason’s blog party. I came to meet and greet you.
    Maybe you can check out my blog. I blog over at
    I offer blogging tips. I also host six blog parties each month where you can meet new readers for your blog.


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