therapy break continues, days 3 and 4

days 3 and 4 have been a lot harder than the first two days. proly cuz we didnt sleep and we were so dissociative. losing lotsa time, just being sad and hurting and crying a lot.
alla us kids miss eileen so much. it realy hurts our heart.
we been tryin ta make her cards and write letters to her but nothins comin out.
do anybody ever get like that? like yur words get stuck, lost even? and you dont know how to fix that?
we are going to try ta have a good weekend. and not to miss her too much.
that will be hard tho i think.
we brought her rose scent to respite with us for some comfort. and we might get to buy the perfume she wears tomorrow when we go shopping. it will double because dr. barry wears it too so we can think of her and think of eileen at the same time.
ok i gotta go to bed now
good night everyone


Author: manyofus1980

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

11 thoughts on “therapy break continues, days 3 and 4”

  1. Hi allie

    Yes, when one of my little ones takes over, I find words (written and spoken) next to impossible.

    I have a few suggestions feel free to try all or none.
    1- write about your pain as if it’s someone elses. If you know I mean by writing in the 3rd person you’ll understand. But instead of saying “I feel” make up and new person not in your system and describe how they feel about their therapy break. Use me if you like!
    2 – Draw how you feel. Little people are especially good at this. Imagine what saddness would look like to you, what does it feel like in your body? Is it spiky and sharp or swirly and misty? Is it blue or black or purple? Give the saddness a name. It’s OK if you can’t draw. Then draw how you would LIKE to feel. What would that be like? What colours would you use? When Carol Anne is back as her to look and see what she sees in these pictures.
    3 – Write to yourself as if someone else were writing to you. What would Eileen say to you id she knew you were feeling so sad? Give yourself the words you want to hear.

    There’s other things you can do too – watch disney films and play dressing up. I also find it helpful to write a short paragraph on how a therapy break feels, what exactly I’m thinking about. A short paragraph may make it seem less daunting.

    You will get through this hunny. You will. Just keep breathing and remember it is just time… you have survived 100% of your bad days so far, you can survive this too.


    Liked by 1 person

  2. Good night Allie. I’m sorry you miss Eileen so much. I understand, I hate when my therapist is on break. It is very hard to get through, isn’t it? Sometimes I write to her in a notebook, and when I lose my words, I just write that I lost my words. I try to plan fun things to do when Bea is away. Hopefully being at respite will help. Xx💕

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I think I’ve never had such a situation that I completely hadn’t any words, maybe only to some extent, it’s awful. I’d try to write about it. Maybe you could write about your feelings like if you were writing a letter to Eileen? Then you can show her it when she’ll be back, or not, how you want, anyway I think you may feel some relief after writing out all the feelings. You’re very brave and strong, I think you manage very well without Eileen, hope you slept well.

    Liked by 1 person

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