i really need a mommy

im hurting my heart is sad i wish my mom could love me see me love me for me not for who she thinks i am not for an adult i want to be a kid do all the things kids do get the love unconditional love of my mom there is so much she didnt do with us when we were a kid that she does now with our niece and nephew it hurts to see that it makes me sad and makes me cry because i missed all that i missed out eileen said its ok to cry she said i can feel all of my feelings that it will be ok she is reparenting us but she isnt our mom but we wish she was because she is nice and caring and loving and she does things like read to us and hug us and say nice things to us and make art with us and make a calendar with us for when she is away on a break that is all nice stuff to do its like what a mom does i cant have my real moms attention so its ok to have eileens? is it? i hope it is. i just really need a mom. i am really sad that it cant be eileen or dr. barry. its hard when you really want something and it cant happen. they cant adopt me. i can still wish though. i will always wish for that.
allie

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Author: manyofus1980

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

2 thoughts on “i really need a mommy”

  1. Allie, I’m sorry that you all didn’t get enough of your mum’s attention as a kid. It’s so sad and it must be really hurting when you see that she gives that attention to your sister’s kids instead of you. I think it’s completely OK to take Eileen’s attention instead of your mum’s. Eileen cares about you, gets you so why not? You must have someone’s attention so why not hers if noone else besides her and DR Barry doesn’t want to give you it? I hope that the therapy was good for you and you felt a bit soothed when you saw Eileen. Hugs. 🙂

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