im hurting my heart is sad i wish my mom could love me see me love me for me not for who she thinks i am not for an adult i want to be a kid do all the things kids do get the love unconditional love of my mom there is so much she didnt do with us when we were a kid that she does now with our niece and nephew it hurts to see that it makes me sad and makes me cry because i missed all that i missed out eileen said its ok to cry she said i can feel all of my feelings that it will be ok she is reparenting us but she isnt our mom but we wish she was because she is nice and caring and loving and she does things like read to us and hug us and say nice things to us and make art with us and make a calendar with us for when she is away on a break that is all nice stuff to do its like what a mom does i cant have my real moms attention so its ok to have eileens? is it? i hope it is. i just really need a mom. i am really sad that it cant be eileen or dr. barry. its hard when you really want something and it cant happen. they cant adopt me. i can still wish though. i will always wish for that.