transitional objects

so i’ve been thinking. about the next therapy break. eileen has offered to give me some transitional objects. she already gave me some, but she has said she will give me some more, lol because i havent got enough?
she has recorded herself reading, and she has also recorded a guided meditation for me. she has given me her empty rose scent bottle. she has given me rocks from her office.
all of me feels comforted when I go to these objects while she is away. so why then am I feeling like its wrong? I shouldnt take them?
ug, sigh, it just feels like I am making a huge deal out of the fact that she is going away.
its only a week, sigh.
carol anne

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Author: manyofus1980

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

4 thoughts on “transitional objects”

  1. I think it’s hard because our logical sides tell us that we “shouldn’t” be upset about a week break, but our emotional sides are upset. We can’t help how we feel.

    I used to feel so wrong and bad for feeling so upset that Bea was leaving for a vacation. Like, it shouldn’t matter, I’m not a child who needs this grown up around (although parts of me are). My perspective has changed on this a little bit, though. You know I’ve made some good friends this last year at Kat’s school. One of them, I saw everyday when school was in session. We would chat after school drop off for maybe 20 or 30 minutes, meet for coffee, meet at the park to walk. And then if the weather was nice we would stay after school and let the kids play a bit. Even once summer break started, I saw her several times a week and talked/texted almost daily. She left to go camping for 3 weeks in a super rural forestry place, with little to no cell service. I miss her terribly. Of course, I’m not having any trouble coping with her absence or believing my friend will come back, but her long absence has changed my perspective on therapy breaks a little.

    So……I’m thinking now, maybe it is natural to miss someone who is a big part of your life and routine, and maybe it is normal for it to be harder to cope if you rely on that person for grounding. Maybe it’s normal to feel abandoned if that person is the only person who you have to tell you secrets to.

    I’m not feeling abandoned by my friend or having trouble coping with her absence but my Wednesday afternoons have felt very empty, even if we are busy, and there have been multiple times I have wanted to text my friend– just silly I side joke things, or big life things, or excitement over things Kat has done.

    All of that to say, if you want another transitional object, I think that is okay. There is nothing wrong with you. Xx💟

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow! She really gave you a lot of things. That’s so nice. 🙂 I think you definitely shouldn’t feel like any of these feelings are wrong. It’s natural that you miss Eileen. She is a mum for your kids, or anyway they think about her this way, she cares about you, you feel attached to her… It’s natural when kids miss her mum, it’s natural that you miss someone who cares about you when so few people did it before, it’s natural that people miss someone they’re attached to… Nothing wrong with it. Nothing wrong with the fact that when you have a brak it seems to last endlessly. It’s always so when you miss someone or wait for something. If you need another object from her, just take it. Nothing wrong with it if only she lets you. 🙂

    Like

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