cant sleep, again

god this is so frustrating and annoying. i’m wide awake. wide awake at almost 2 AM. i have therapy in 8 hours. it looks like i’m not going to sleep tonight even with my meds on bord.
how do you cope with no sleep? anyone got any ideas for things to do to distract myself from the crazy thoughts in my head?
my head is like a whirlwind tonight. crazy thoughts buzzing all around it.
i’m thinking a lot about my dad tonight. he’s not well at all. its becoming more and more noticeable with each day. first his bowel, now its his back, i think the two are related somehow.
he’s barely eating, he is deficient in vitamin d and calcium as well. he wants it fixed but he doesnt want to stop drinking. he wants to do things on his terms, he wont listen to any of us we’re wasting our time and breath.
i’m worried. really, really worried.
probably the worry and stress of it all is keeping me up too. plus my stomach is growling at me. i dont want to eat anything though. they say the middle of the night isnt a good time to eat. plus my aunts noticed my weight loss tonight, which made me really chuffed. i dont want to ruin it.
i suppose i had better try again for some sleep.
night all, xo
carol anne


Author: manyofus1980

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

5 thoughts on “cant sleep, again”

  1. Oooh, really frustrating. :/ You’re not alone. I didn’t sleep well tonight as well, I mean I did sleep, but it wasn’t a sleep of high quality, I didn’t sleep much and woke up rather tired. Hope that you slept at least for a while eventually, it always helps a bit. It’s really hard to fall asleep with mind so full of thoughts though and I know it. I experience it very often. Nothing surprising that you are worried because of your dad, everyone would be worried in such situation. It’s sad that he is in such a bad condition and doesn’t listen to anyone. Really worrying. A good book could really help you, I think. And cuddling Nitro. And maybe some good music. And in my opinion you should eat something. Yeah, it’s maybe not the most healthy thing to do, to eat at night, but you mustn’t eat anything very big or calloric. Just something to quiet your stomach, it’s also not healthy to stay hungry. It could be also hunger that kept you up. Hope you’ll be able to get some more sleep at respite.


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