i’m mad and i’m sad and i dont know which one is winning but i hate these feelings they make me feel crazy and i want eileen to just adopt me why cant she just take me with her on holiday its not fair i like it when she shows me things like when she brought me over to the window one time and started describing her garden that was neat she even has a pond in her garden she walks us around her room and lets us touch everything i like doing that it makes me feel safe i also love it when she hugs me she lets me snuggle my head into her shoulder and sometimes i cry but sometimes i dont somtimes i just breathe and listen to her heartbeat she holds my hand somtimes when im scared she has rings on her fingers i like to play with them and i like to see her nails because she gets them done im imagining her here with me now im mad because she isnt im scared because its night time i feel alone i feel lonely i feel sad i feel like i want my mom
allie age 9


Author: manyofus1980

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

9 thoughts on “allie”

  1. Hugs. xxx Perhaps you will feel better ifyou go to the little room that you and Eileen created. You can sit in there and remember things she has said that make you feel good.


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