I got up at 6 AM today. I had two appointments this morning. first i saw our ot mark. then i saw dr barry after that. the apt with mark went very well. we talked about college courses. i told mark i wasnt sure about what i wanted to do. initially i thought i might like to study something in the childcare field, but now i’m not sure. i got an email recently about an advocacy course, which sounds really interesting. its done over 5 months, and leads to a level six fetak qualification. basically it teaches you how to become an advocate and work in the area of advocacy. it sounds like something i’d really like to do. mark said he thought it would really suit my skill set. i told him that i thought so too. one major reason i thought it would suit me so much is the fact that i volunteer for a local community organisation, and part of that work includes advocating on other people’s behalf. he told me to think some more about it and the next time we meet we would discuss it more. we talked about applying for a grant to get equipment for me to be more independent around my house. i was suppose to give him a quote for some items but i forgot to get it so that will also have to wait until the next time we meet. he said that karen r the social worker said she’d help us apply for funding before she leaves. we were talking about the specialised equipment being so expensive. it really is very expensive to buy stuff if you are blind, or have any medical or special needs. for example i bought a talking microwave a few years ago for 350 euro, and a normal microwave is only about 50 or 60 euro max. even this morning, we took a look on the website of the national council for the blind and i looked at a talking kitchen weighing scales, it was 90 euro. i thought that was outrageous. mark and i plan to meet again in a months time, because i’m on respite next week and then mark is on annual leave for a couple of weeks. the apt with dr. barry also went really well. i talked with her about the dissociative episodes we’d been having. i explained everything to her. how i’d come to a few times not knowing where i was or what i’d been doing. she said maybe we need to look at the safety aspect again. look at options and what we could do to ensure our safety. i told her about wendy almost meeting the past abuser. she was kind of shocked but asked me if that had anything to do with the summer solstace that just passed, being a trigger date. i said i thought it probably did. we talked about sleep being off and she said she’d keep me on the same dose of lyrica for the anxiety. she had decreased it from 450 to 300 mg but my gp never made the decrease so i’m still taking the increased dose. dr. barry said she’d write anothe r script for that dose and leave it at the higher dose for now. we talked again about karen leaving. she told me that karen had gotten her leaving date, its August 31st. So we have a little bit of time before she leaves. sshe is still going to organise a proper goodbye for us. and she is going to ask sarah her community psychiatric nurse to do a little bit of transitional work with me after karen leaves. we talked about her new doctors that came on the team. she told me that she’d gotten two male doctors, i was hoping she’d get a female on her team so that when she’s on holiday i could see a female doctor. on that note i asked her if she had holidays planned at all over the summer. she said she’s taking the last week of august off. but thats the only week she’s taking. we talked about therapy and i told her about eileens offer of out of session contact. she said she thought that was good and necessary and she was glad eileen had offered that to me. i have another apt for july 26th. when i was waiting for my taxi karen was coming in and she stopped to talk to me. we talked for about 5 minutes. the more i talked to her the more i realised how much i’m going to miss her. it just wont be the same without her.