i cant sleep. i tried, oh how i tried. i layed down, tried to read, couldnt concentrate on the book so stopped. did manage to eventually fall off to sleep after taking meds to help with that. but only slept for about 3 hours. woke at 3 AM and got up and have stayed awake and up since then. just been watching tv and messing around online. there is some internal struggles going on with some insiders. i can hear crying and some fighting amongst insiders. it sounds far away like its not close enough that i can make out the voices or whose involved or what is being said. i’m sure i’ll find out soon though. we’ve been losing time lately too. not tonight but lots over the past week. thats scary. its scary to come to and have no idea what is going on or where you are or what you’ve been doing saying. so i am thinking about that tonight too. i am trying to think of ways i can prevent it. i talked a little to eileen about it. she is concerned that its happening so often to us. my pa kristen is coming this morning. i dont have to go anywhere because my grocery shopping is already done. so she will just do housework and make me breakfast. my house needs a good cleaning anyway. did you ever notice the tv is shit at night? i have the news on right now. there’s nothing good that I can watch.