i saw dr barry today. she payed me lovely compliments, i had given her a cd that i recorded a few years ago with me singing about 20 songs. the first thing she said to me when she brought me to her office was you have such a lovely voice! way to go dr. barry thank you! i was so chuffed. number 1 that she likes my voice but also that she took the time to actually listen to my cd. it means a lot to me that she’d do that. i told her that karens leaving had hit us really hard. and that we’d spent our whole therapy session this week processing it. she was kind of surprised to hear that. i guess she thought it wouldnt effect us that much, at least not as much as it did efect us. she agreed with eileen and said that it was really good that we’d formed a healthy attachment to karen and our relationship had been a very good and healthy one, boundaried and just what we needed. i told her i was seriously going to miss karen, and that no matter who came on the team next, it wouldnt be karen, they wouldnt have the same work ethic as karen did. she told me again that she is going to talk to sarah her community psychiatric nurse about doing a few sessions with me after karen leaves, i think sarah will be a go to person i can contact in between seeing dr. barry if i need to talk to someone. she said she was sure sarah would agree to work with me but that she’s on holiday right now and so she needs to wait to talk to her and see if she’s on bord with it or not. i didnt actually say goodbye to karen today. dr. barry is going to talk to her and try to organise a goodbye for next wednesday. i hope she can organise it. i have to say goodbye properly to karen. we talked about respite and we talked about the ritual dates that just passed. i told her i’d been doing a lot of things to help me distract, spending a lot of time with my mom and sister, and that was helping me. i told her a few times this week i was physically exhausted and had slept well because i’d felt so tired after a full day. sh e said it was good that i was very tired because it meant that i was not up all night and i was able to sleep and get some good rest. we talked a little about my dad and his addiction and dr. barry said i should do what eileen suggested and read up on addiction and how it effects the family. i said i would. she also suggested i might like to try an al anon meeting, but i said i didnt think i’d be comfortable going to an in person meeting but maybe i’d try an online one instead. it was a good session. i just hope next week that i will actually get to say goodbye to karen. dr. barry didnt know her schedule so it might be possible that she cant actually come in to my session because she’s busy. hopefully not though. hopefully things will work out and hopefully i wont be too emotional. knowing me i’ll be a sobbing mess. at least i get to give her a hug to say goodbye!