hi eileen
i needed to write to you tonight. there was something else i wanted to say last week but didnt.i didnt know how to bring it up. plus i’m nervous because i’m scared i’ll say the wrongthing, i dont have experience talking to outsiders like some other in here do.
but the thing is this.
can you promise me that if i trust you and allow our guard to go down, stop the blocking of things, and compartmentalising…can you promise you wont hurt us, like joan our last therapist did?
she really did a number on us.
so much of what she did was wrong, but she acted like it was normal. and confused us, so we thought it was.
i mean, things like, taking us to lunch, for coffee, to the movies, buying us things when she was on vacation, letting us meet her kids, telling them about us how we lived on our own and stuff.
is it normal for a therapist to do those things?
am i way off when i think it isnt?
she would always say that we are not like her other clients, that because we had did we had more needs, more complexneeds, which ok is true i guess, but still you dont do those things, but I know you care, I know you care in lots of ways, i know you care in the little things you’ve done for us, giving us an empty bottle of the rose scent hyou like, reading and recording yourself read so we’d have it for comfort, giving us objects from your office to take home to keep connected to you during the time between sessions, letting us text and email, those are all things you do to show you are thinking of us and caring, but you still have boundaries and if we overstep them I’m sure you’d talk to us about it, because I know you always encourage us to be honest, and we would like you to be honest with us too.
all of our life people have mistreated us, used us, misused us, done whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted.
I dont want to end up trusting and then if it goes bad I’ll get the blame for messing things up. but we do need to do the work in order to heal, and we want to do it so I will try hard to trust.
Maybe together we can come up with a plan? I know you dont normally respond to emails but can you please just respond to me to let me know you have read this and we can talk more about it?
thanks
the blocker
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Therapy Bits 
Hi Blocker. I’m glad you’re reaching out to Eileen and I think your concerns are valid. I think it’s a good idea for Eileen to have boundaries as since you aren’t on the outside, you don’t have a good idea about what many people’s boundaries are, and even if you were on the outside a lot, different people’s boundaries are different. It sounds like Joan meant well, but as she wasn’t going to be very long-term with you what she was doing probably got very confusing, especially for the little ones who long for a forever mom. I hope Eileen responds, but even if she doesn’t right now, I’m sure she’ll read it and really give it some serious consideration.
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Hi, yeah I think she will, she is always so mindful of wanting us to feel comfortable to talk to her, I’m sure this will be no different. x
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Hi Blocker, I’m glad to see that you’re reaching out to Eileen, I hope she responds/ed. you have very valid concerns that needed to be shared with her. Yes your former Therapist was way out of line and I think went WAY to personal, I think she bypassed the boundaries and became a friend not a therapist which is not good. She made you (the person) become so dependent on her which I feel is a breach to the boundaries. Not saying her intentions were bad, just the outcome as she wasn’t intending to be your long-term Therapist, that in itself confused the little inside and made her really hurt more then ever.
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Yes your right, it did. It totally confused them. They thought she was their forever therapist. She wasnt. x
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That is truly the worst. I’m scared that my psychologist will turn out to be a bad experience.
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I hope not. They arent all bad. Eileen is great. She really does everything she can to make us comfortable and safe. I am so glad we found her. x
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Happy for you, I’m waiting to see mine next week, it’s been 1 1/2 weeks since I’ve seen her. Public health system sucks here.
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Wow I had a therapist that did that. She became obsessed and i have no reason why. Started sending me cards in the mail, bringing me gifts to our sessions. It made me feel very uncomfortable and I had to stop seeing her. She had no boundaries. Just because she was a therapist didn’t mean she knew how to be a good one. She justhappened to go to school.
Im really glad that you have a good therapist now you can trust
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wow, blows me away how some people get to be therapists and they really arent suited to the job. xx
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