when your system is managed by kids, its an issue

hi. my name is jade. i am the internal therapist. i am also a watcher. yesterday i talked to eileen for the first time. our system was in chaos over the weekend, so much so that shirley came out, very disorientated and confused, she barely knows anything when she is out, she is fragile and easily spooked. it was shirley who got us to therapy yesterday, and eileen and her talked for a few minutes, but it was clear that she was struggling, she couldnt even tell eileen what year it was or what day it was. she knew she’d been out but she didnt know when she came out or for how long she’d been here. i knew though. eileen had her listen to see what she could hear, and she said she heard children crying, she said she could hear carol anne but that she couldnt see her. anyway then I decided I’d better come out and let eileen know what was happening. so i did. we talked a lot i had most of the rest of the session. we talked about how it is for us, kids managing the system. its always been like that. they will try to manage adult things, and the adults will let them. eileen wants us to change that. she asked me if i’d be open to doing some wrok with her around it and i said yes i would. i talked to her about flooring the entire system sometimes when I think we ned a reset. but that did not work this weekend. i did try putting everyone down but that was unsuccessful. I’m hoping over the next couple of weeks we can do some work to get some of the adults to step up and help more with things. i think a lot of them are afraid, because they dont interact in the world that often, thehy dont interact with other people. so well they dontknow how to be or what they should or shouldnt say. eileen said she’d help us with all that though. so I’m counting on her.
jade

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Author: manyofus1980

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

3 thoughts on “when your system is managed by kids, its an issue”

  1. Hi Jade. I definitely think it’d be a good idea for the adults to step up tot he bat even if they are afraid. They are adults and it’s not fair to expect the kids to act like adults all the time. It would be like having a bunch of outside kids between the ages of 6 and 12 trying to run things. It would be chaotic! I hope thatEileen can help all of you rearrange things. I’m glad Shirley came out. She may be afraid, but evidently the situation concerned her enough that she felt the need to put in an appearance. I hope she’s able to do it more often. I’d like to see Savannah come out as well as the other grown folks.

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    1. Hi Deb yes I know, they are all afraid but they’re going to have to step up to the plate and do their jobs. I have to help them to see that the kids managing is not a good idea, their kids and they don’t need to know about adult stuff. That stuff is for the adults only. Eileen is very good and she will help us with this I’m counting on her I know she has great suggestions and she will help us to manage the system and not get too overwhelmed

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  2. Hi Jade! 🙂
    Yeah, it’s really hard when kids have to manage things on their own. It must lead to some chaos. It would be really good if adults could feel more comfortable with coming out and managing situation, kids should stay kids for the most, feel safe and cared, not like they are responsible for the whole system. Well, I think your kids, anyway these who I know, are really mature as for their ages, so this situation surely affects them all and they know they must be far more responsible than average outside kids. I understand adults too, at least I think so, they seem like they front rarely, so it’s natural that they are afraid of interacting with the world, especially Shirley, but I think they should try to overcome their anxiety at least a bit, do just this what they can and believe in their possibilities, support each other and it should get better gradually. Eileen will surely help you with it and we here on your blog are all supportive to you, Jade, all the kids and adults in your system. I believe you’ll be able to manage and rearrange things, you’re all strong. Huge hugs for you all. 🙂
    Emilia

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