when your dad tries to convince his daughters he’s not an alcoholic

so a couple of days ago my sister and me were in the car with dad. we were driving to my parents house. all of a sudden my dad said, i dont drink a lot. if i drink by day, then i dont drink at night. me and laura just sat there with our mouths open. because that is so far from the truth. if he goes out to a pub by day for 3 pints, then the same night he’ll drink cans of beer at home. it was like he was telling us this, and he really believed what he was saying. i said nothing, but i wanted to. laura said something to pacify him. that sorta denial and hiding things drives me crazy. he is an alcoholic, thre is no getting away from that fact. no he doesnt drink half as much as he did a couple years ago. but he’s still a bad alcoholic. so why is he trying to convince us he isnt? why, when we are adults now, and we know the truth? he’s just lying to himself, and believing his own lies. how sad is that?

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Author: manyofus1980

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

14 thoughts on “when your dad tries to convince his daughters he’s not an alcoholic”

  1. sounds like he was trying to convince himself more than you and your sister. I’d place my bets that he knows he has a problem and is why he said such a thing. My husband is a functioning alcoholic.

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    1. Yes I think my dad is a functioning alcoholic two, he can do stuff by day when he’s not drinking but drink is always of the most in his mind, like when he’s talking Hill automatically talk about the price of drink or how many drinks he can get for so much money and stuff like that it’s really sad I think he just thinks that he is not as serious severe as he is but he’s only lying to him self

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  2. I guess that’s the nature of alcoholism. You’re not going to find an alcoholic proclaiming that he or she is an alcoholic and proud of it. I just finished reading a book which was a true story in which the daughter was standing next to her dying father’s bed and she asked him why he hadn’t stopped drinking, knowing what it had done to his health over the years. He thought about it for a moment and then said, “Because I didn’t want to stop drinking and to tell the truth, I don’t want to even now.” That shows how strong the addiction is. Your dad probably really doesn’t think his drinking is that bad. I hope that changes.

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  3. Yeah, it really looks like he wants to convince himself and thinks much about his alcoholism recently. Or maybe he already believes it, but wants you both to believe him too. Maybe it’s because of his ilnness, I mean his bowel problems, you know, he knows that he can’t drink, has trouble with accepting that he’s ill and hence his attempt to convince himself and/or you that he almost doesn’t drink. I suppose it might be somehow connected.

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  4. I know (from first-hand experience) how difficult this must be for you and your sister as you can clearly see that your dad has a drinking problem. Like most alcoholics (and I used to be one myself which is not something I’m proud of), he will stay in denial until his drinking causes enough problems in his life that he really wants to give up. Only then, I expect, he will accept help if it is available – something like Alcoholics Anonymous is a huge help as I know myself.

    I got well through AA several years ago and it’s only been since 6 years ago, that I became totally clean and sober and haven’t touched a drop since then. I don’t intend to ever pick up a drink again because I know that if I let myself even have one, I won’t be able to stop there and it’ll start to be a problem all over again.

    I really hope the alcohol isn’t making his bowel problem worse (I think I remember you saying that your dad’s doctor told him not to drink so much though). Perhaps, you could gently (or otherwise) remind him that he is making himself iller and you have to hope the message will sink in at some time soon and that he will want to do something about the problem. All you can do is be there for him if and when he finally realises he might need help with it. Love Ellie xxx

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