worry about both of my parents

both of my parents are ill. first my dad has UC ulcerative colitis. he just found this out last week. trying to get him to listen to advice is just not going at all well for me. i told him he needs to not eat certain foods. he got a sheet from his dietician, foods to avoid. think he’s avoiding them? nooooo. same with alcohol. his gastroenterologist told him not to drink. it makes the UC worse. but he’s not listening. his gastro doc wrote him up for some tests. a kolonoskopy, an ultrasound on his liver, and a chest x-ray, all within the next few weeks. he’s also going to have a bone density scan as well.it worry for me. a lot of worry. he may in the future if things dont improve have to have an operation to put a stoma bag in place but they’re saying that is the last resort. that everything else that can be done will be done first. he’s taking nutritional drinks right now to try to put weight on him. he is skin and bones, always cold, and I am worried.

then my mom has COPD. she cant walk very far. she is on 5 inhalers. she struggles to catch her breath. she keeps trying to do things, and I keep telling her she’s doing too much. like for instance today she cut my grass. i told her not to do it. do ya think she’d listen to me? noooo. the middle of her right lung is collapsed. on friday she goes back to the surgeon to see what he is going to do for her. she had a bronkoskopy a few weeks back. i dont think she can be left with a collapsed lung. so it is probably going to mean surgery for her. i am soooooo nervous. its just a lot of worry for me and i find it hard to cope with both of them being ill at once.

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Author: manyofus1980

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

17 thoughts on “worry about both of my parents”

      1. I can imagine. But remember you aren’t he only one, not that I want to take away from your own hard work, but there will always be other people that understand this difficult time. Keep going!

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  1. I can relate. My dad has heart problems and my mom has interstitial lung disease (kind of like COPD in that it deals with the breathing aspect of things, my mom coughs uncontrollably though). It is difficult to see your parents have health issues. **hugs**

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  2. Sounds like your father hasn’t hit his rock bottom so he’s not willing to change. I have a friend who has a collapsed lung and she’s relatively fine but she doesn’t have COPD and her remaining lung is healthy. Was or is your mom a smoker? I hope they can do something for her to help with the COPD. xx

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  3. Hmm, it really doesn’t sound well, the worst thing is that they’re so careless about their health. Definitely don’t stop talking to them that they should care more, maybe when you’ll tell them it again and again they will listen to you. You may feel like it’s pointless to still talking with them about that while they don’t care, but still try, maybe you’ll help them. It’s natural that you care about your parents and they should care for and about theirselves if not to feel good, then at least for you and your sister, ’cause you need them and love them. Maybe your dad must get used to his diagnosis, maybe it takes some time for him and he’ll accept it and live healthier, sometimes it’s hard to believe that you’re ill, especially if you always were strong, healthy and fit as a fiddle. Such situation was with my grandad, but luckily he realised in the good moment that really something bad happens with him and now lives very healthy, no one of us would suppose it to happen. I wish the same to your dad, and to your mum. I get that you’re worried and I’d also be, everyone would, but try to stay as positive, as you can. Encourage them to care for theirselves, but try to not think too much about it. 🙂 Many hugs. 🙂

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  4. Aww, Carol anne. I’m so sorry that both your mum and dad are so poorly. With your dad, it is difficult to get someone to listen to good advice until they are ready and sometimes, that means they have to get worse before they realise and take notice of what they’re being told. With your mum being sick as well, it is understandable that you are so worried. I really hope they both start to listen to some of what you and their doctors are trying to tell them and perhaps they will both start to feel better soon. It must be really hard for you to have both your parents ill. I wish them many get well wishes and wish you strength, patience and peace of mind to help you cope. Love and hugs, Ellie xxx ❤

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  5. Hi Carol Anne. Your fears and worries are well founded and you are a good daughter trying to encourage and help them both. Don’t stop talking about healthy changes. Sometimes it takes a bit, and continue to encourage your mom to slow down and take care of her own health. But remember, you are not alone. You have friends and family to listen and support you and your parents. Don’t forget to take care of yourself S well. Worrying will cause you to get sick and that definitely won’t be good. Sending lots of positive thoughts your way. Safe hugs too.

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