i’m feeling so lazy today. very sleepy and lethargic. i was up half the night, couldnt sleep no matter what i tried. the weather is shitty today. rain rain and more rain. its a day for sitting in front of the fire and binge watching movies or tv shows. my pa kristen usually comes on thursday mornings, but she had a training course today so i had a relief pa. her name was dolores and i’ve had her once before. she’s nice but i must say i prefer kristen, we have our own little routine going. its hard when a new person has to be thrown into the mix. anyway this morning i needed to be at my apt with karen for 9:30. dolores was late, she didnt get to me until 9:20, i had rang her to see what the hold up was, she was stuck in traffic. in the mean time she’d rang the office, and euin the guy in the office tried to call me, couldnt get through to me so he texted me to let me know she’d be late. we raced to my apt and made it 3 minutes late. i had a good apt with karen. i got weighed, and i am 101 kg, or 15 stone 11 pound, or 221 pounds. she said thats really good because it means i havent put up any weight since march. i stayed exactly the same. so now i am starting from here to lose the weight. we looked at goals and i decided for next week to work on exercising for 20 minutes every day, 10 minutes in the morning and 10 minutes at night. i also decided to try and lose 1 to 2 pounds for next week. and to keep working on drinking more water. i was very happy with how the appointment went overall. afterwords we came back to my house, i had something to eat and dolores cleaned. i let her go an hour early because her mom is ill and she was going to spend some time with her. and it suited me because i wanted to go to my parents. she dropped me there so that was nice of her since really she isnt supposed to be driving me anywhere. i’m going to stay at my parents now until sunday. i have to go to the hospital with my mom tomorrow, the surgeon is meeting her to see what he’sg oing to do about her collapsed lung. i am going for morral support. today when i got to my parents i was in the living room talking to my dad. all of a sudden i dozed off on the couch. i slept for abougt 45 minutes. moms gone grocery shopping now. i gave her money to get me some baked potatos, and some pasta salad, which i am going to have for dinner. i also gave her money to get me a hair colour, i want to put that in my hair this weekend. she is going to drop my prescription to the pharmacy too for me and then they’ll deliver it tomorrow and i can pay on delivery. despite the letargicness i feel good. i hope its good news for my mom tomorrow. i am nervous about that. i’m trying to keep positive though. not let my anxiety show.