this morning i go to see karen o my nutritionist. i havent seen her since march. when i went into hospital i stopped going, and when i came home I couldnt get up the courage to text her and ask her to slot me in for an appointment. the motivation to work on my diet and lose weight just wasnt there. but last week it came back. and i’ve mostly been doing good the last 10 or so days. i have slipped a few times but i’ve been eating relatively well and exercising too. she is going to weigh me tomorrow. i think the last time she weighed me in march i was about 102 kg, or 15 stone 12 pounds. now i am starting to wonder if i’ll be up or down tomorrow when she weighs me. i have to start losing this excess weight. i just have to. for my own sake, because walking has become hard, my back has started to give me trouble, for health reasons if nothing else I have to do this. karen is very understanding about things, she knows food and eating and diet and all that goes with that are huge triggers for me. not to mention the emotion that goes with it as well. so yeah. will keep you all posted as to how i get on tomorrow.