daily word prompt:survive

all i seem to do is survive. when can i start to thrive? when can i be done with just surviving? when will the war be over? my therapist says its already over. i dont feel it though. i still feel the need to be in survival mode. peace doesnt seem real to me, it doesnt seem like i have the option of freedom or peace. my world is full of triggers, my senses are constantly on high alert. there are trigger dates around every corner, pulling me backwards into the past. so how then am i supposed to thrive, when i have to try to survive these triggers? just some ponderings, not sure i’ll ever find the ansers.

Author: manyofus1980

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

4 thoughts on “daily word prompt:survive”

  1. yes i am told the war is over too. yet i still seem to be fighting it. how do i make it so it doesn’t lurk around every corner, setting off triggers, ‘pulling me back into the past’ as you put it, and let me move forward instead? if i find out, i’ll let you know!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. The war can be over, I suppose it is, but every war has its consequences, I think that’s the problem in your case. The war is gone, but memories stay, destruction and pain are still with you. And it’s no less hurting and frustrating than war was. I’m not a survivor of abuse of any kind, so I musn’t be right, but that’s how I feel it. But you should always remember, that this what you struggle now with, are just consequences of the war, that what you survived won’t come back in fact, and think that you are strong enough to survive, so you will survive. If you weren’t strong enough to survive it, you wouldn’t get it, ’cause we never have to deal with anything that is really stronger than we are, it only seems so. Hugs! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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