all i seem to do is survive. when can i start to thrive? when can i be done with just surviving? when will the war be over? my therapist says its already over. i dont feel it though. i still feel the need to be in survival mode. peace doesnt seem real to me, it doesnt seem like i have the option of freedom or peace. my world is full of triggers, my senses are constantly on high alert. there are trigger dates around every corner, pulling me backwards into the past. so how then am i supposed to thrive, when i have to try to survive these triggers? just some ponderings, not sure i’ll ever find the ansers.