when will the pain end? When will i be free from the memories of abuse that haunt me every day?
I just feel so incredibly sad right now.


Author: manyofus1980

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

8 thoughts on “:-(”

  1. I suppose you’ll never be free from these memories, it’s rather impossible to remove memories, but I hope that some day they’ll only be memories, nothing more. They won’t bring the pain and sadness and you’ll gain control over them. I strongly wish you this. But I think I understand how you feel now, at least in any part and I believe it must be terrible and very hard to still struggle with it and overcome waves of memories again and again. But I’m sure that if you did cope with all that abuse and with memories before, you’ll still be able to cope with them, you only have to try to believe in yourself and, really, try to focus on positives. It sometimes sounds really shallow and silly – you feel so low, struggle with so many things and people say to you that you must stay positive – but if you try it can really help. I feel depressive very often and am pessimistic actually all the time and I know it’s difficult to focus on positives, when you feel pain and sadness, but once you try, you can usually feel a bit better. And of course stay distracted as much as you can.

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  2. I have DID too and have been in therapy probably 25 years. I also am on medications that help (venlafaxine and abilify). I just wanted to let you know it does get better. I have flashbacks of feelings now instead of pictures and they are gentler than they used to be. My nighttime medications help me to sleep and not wake up shaking from nightmares (trazodone and prazosin). I hope this gives you some much needed hope.


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