today we go home

today we are going home to our own house. we’ve been with our mom and dad since we got out of hospital last wednesday. thank gog we have them because when we need to feel safe we go to their house and they dont mind and mom always tells us to come over if our head is hurting or thoughts are in our head bad thoughts or we’re suicidal sometimes we do sometimes we dont but at least the option is there. i’m wondering how we’ll do at home. we do like our own space but the way the suicidal thoughts are right now is scary to me. up and down not knowing when they’ll hit. then when they hit we are impulsive and so i worry someone in the system will take meds or something and that would not be good. at least we have kristen coming tomorrow and thursday and we will see eileen on wednesday. it will be good to have a therapy session since this month is really hard for us today is may day a ritual date. i’m trying this morning. the sun is shining i’m trying to celebrate the 1st day of summer. i’m listening to my relaxation cd and chilling out. trying not to remember the bad things that happened to us as a kid on this day. trying to reclaim the day.
carol anne


Author: manyofus1980

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

4 thoughts on “today we go home”

  1. We haven’t reached *reclaim* yet – we’re still at *make it through, look for a warm fuzzy moment and hold on to it*
    Sophie wanted me to share because she said she doesn’t want you to forget that sometimes just taking care of yous is good enough

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sophie is so sweet tell her thank you from me. We are still at the make it through time to, just want to reclaim it it’s like a dream really not got there yet though


  2. It’s good you’re going home, though I understand that you’re anxious about suicidal thoughts, they are often so overwhelming and you can’t predict anything. But I hope nothing bad will happen and no one in the system won’t do anything bad. Hope that you’ll come through this month better than previously.


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