so i’ve been fighting suicidal thoughts all day. my mom asked me to go to a holistic fare with her. my aunt was having a stall at it, where she was going to do angel card reading and reiki. so i said i’d support my aunt and go with my mom. i’m so glad i did. i had a very relaxing day. all the suicidal thoughts disapated. i felt calm and relaxed and soothed. my aunt did a reiki treatment on me. she told me i had very strong energy. and that she felt that i had a talent that i was throwing away. she said she had a vision of a microphone and it kept falling and she thought of how I love to sing and she said I need to try to work harder on my singing, that I dont have to be a professional singer but maybe I could get a choir going at the basement club, and also continue with my singing lessons, do more performances etc. Its something to seriously think about. We each payed 5 euro going in to the fare, that money went to a local charity who work with homeless people. Because we were one of the first 50 in to the fare, we got a little bag with 3 christals in it. they are little ones and they are really smooth and polished so I am going to carry them with me to ground me. I got amithyst and clear quartz and citrine. after my aunt did the treatments on me and my mom we went looking around at all the other stalls. there was this one stall selling cd’s, I got two, a sounds of nature cd and a tropical rainforest cd. they were meant to be 10 euro each but the guy selling them said I could have the two for 5 euro so I saved 15 euro. I bought a nice picture with a saying on it from another stall. the saying is when it rains, look for a rainbow, when its dark, look for stars. then there is a picture of a rainbow and stars. i am going to hang it over my bed. i just really loved the saying. i got some incense to burn in my living room, i got sage, because it is supposed to remove all of the negative energy from your house. I also bought my aunt a little gift because she is moving into a new house. I got her a little candle holder with angels on it. it was nice browsing around all the stalls. i would have bought more if I’d have had more money but I only had a little money so couldnt splurge too much. After we finished with the stalls mom and me went out to the bar and had a cappachino each. We spent some time chatting and just having mother and daughter time. It was really nice. We decided then to walk to the local store to get milk and bread and some other stuff. On the way I got a terrible fall. We were walking and there was this bump in the road, I tripped over it and fell straight out onto my face and hands. My two knees are very grazed right now, they’ll probably bruise before they heal. all i was worrying about was did anyone see me fall. i was so embarrassed. luckily no one was around. me and mom laughed it off but I am very lucky I didnt break anything. We got what we needed and came home to have dinner. Later tonight we’re going to my aunts. Mom is going to have a few drinks, I’m not drinking. It wouldnt be a good idea with my med combo to mix alcohol with it. But I’ll still have fun just hanging out with my mom and aunts. So yeah its been a great day. I’m glad the thoughts went away for now. I like when I get a break from them. My mood is good right now.