being on the ward: rambles and thoughts

my mom visited me last night. i was glad to see her. she brought me some nice treats. an easter egg, some crisps, cookies, other chocolate, and some drinks. all yummy things which i am in need of since my diet in here consists of cerial, toast, yoghurts, and tea and coffee. and possibly ham sandwiches if they are there at supper time. its a nightmare and the food in here is so disgusting. half the time when you get your meal its almost cold. i’m like nooooo i’m not eating that!
mom stayed for about an hour. she gave me the card from my sister for my birthday. i opened it and my sister had given me 50 euros. i need to text her this morning to say thanks for that, it was kind of her to think of me and give me that much money. now i have enough money between what my mom gave me and what my sister gave me to get an external hard drive for all of my music. yay so happy about that.
after mom left i felt much brighter. and then dr. barry came in and that even lifted my mood more. so it turned into a good night. things on the ward were quiet. no major incidents. i did not take my meds until 11:30. before that I had some tea and I ate some of the biscuits mom had given me. tea is usually served at around 10 PM. one of the nurses usually brings it to my bedside instead of making me go out to where they serve it. so anyway i told rebecca who was my nurse that I’d wait until 11:30 to take my night meds. The later I take them the better, and the more I will sleep. And I did sleep.
I took a while to fall asleep but once I did I slept for around 4 hours without waking which is good for me. I woke at 4 AM and went out to the nurses station. One of the nurses, my favourite nurse, Marie, talked to me for a while and then brought me back to bed. I managed to fall back to sleep for another 2 hours. At 6 AM I got up and went back out to the nurses station. Maureen was writing her reports and said she’d bring me a cup of tea just as soon as she finished. So then I went back into my bedspace and got online. And I stayed online until breakfast time. Maureen did bring the tea and it was lovely.
I ate breakfast this morning. I usually eat breakfast most days, because it is the only meal I really enjoy. This morning I had cerial and toast with marmalade on it. Its saturday so going to be quiet today on the ward. There wont be much going on. No groups unless the student nurses try to do some but there are no OT’S and no nurse therapists on duty today and normally at the weekend its just quiet.
I need to text Eileen to let her know I am in the hospital. I will do that this morning. I’ve kinda been avoiding it. Not sure why. Maybe because I feel she’ll be disappointed with me for going back into the hospital and being unable to cope with the triggers around the ritual dates and my birthday. I know thats highly unlikely but part of me worries that she will.

I wont see mom again until Monday or Tuesday. She doesnt drive and she hasnt got a lot of money to get taxi’s. I understand and am ok with just calling her instead of physically seeing her.
Not sure what I am going to do for the day. Probably a lot of being online catching up on blogs, doing email, maybe watch some tv shows since I have my external hard drives with me.
Hopefully I’ll have a good day. So far I am feeling good so thats positive.

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Author: manyofus1980

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

4 thoughts on “being on the ward: rambles and thoughts”

  1. It’s great that your mum visited you and brought all these yummy things. It’s nice to have them in such situation. I’ve been always told that the food in hospitals is awful, I haven’t much personal experience in this topic, as I was I never was in hospital for longer than two days, but anyway it’s good that you can eat something delicious. And it’s really kind of your sister that she gave you so much money and that she remembered about you. I’m glad that your mum’s visit made you feeling better and that you slept well. Hope you’ll have a nice day. And I’m sure Eileen won’t by disappointed with you. I understand that you’re worrying, but I think she’ll be supportive, not critical or evaluative. 🙂

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  2. I do remember hospital food and that breakfast was about the only meal I thought was decent. I love eggs, so as long as I coujld have eggs bacon and toast I was okay. That will be really great to be able to get another external hard drive. As far as I am concerned, I can’t have too many of them. I’m glad your mom got to visit. How’s your dad doing?

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    1. Yes, this will be my fifth external hard drive, I can never have too many of them either. My dad is doing okay, he has an appointment with the doctor on Tuesday about his bowel problem. I hope they do something soon because he’s in agony with pain

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