Flashbacks are a bitch

ok. i feel like crap. i couldnt eat dinner. i felt too ill. sick from constant flashbacks. its hell. i keep feeling like i’m gonna throw up.

waves of nausea and pain keep coming over me. i am debating whether i should just go ask my nurse amanda for a PRN of haldol. the thing is if i take haldol now, i’ll probably fall asleep and I dont want that because then I’ll be all unsettled for tonight.

my mom is coming to visit me later and i want to be ok for her. if she sees me like this she’ll only get upset. i sware flashbacks are a bitch. they sneak up on you and before you know it they leave you feeling depleted and debilitated.

just feel so sad and so alone. pain is unbearable. i just want an end to it.


Author: manyofus1980

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

12 thoughts on “Flashbacks are a bitch”

  1. Oh I wish you didn’t feel so terrible! I hope you’ll be better soon. I completely understand that you feel alone, but you aren’t. Try to think about some nice things, remember that it won’t last forever, these flashbacks will leave you soon. I hope it will end until your mum will come. I know it’s all very difficult for you, but you’ll cope with it. I strongly believe that you will.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It sounds like you probably need a Haldol. You might let your mom know you’ve been having flashbacks and that you had to take something to calm them down and that you might be a little fuzzy when you see her. It’s better than jumpy and nauseated. I think she’d understand. You’re not in the hospital for a vacation after all. Hugs. xx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Good for you! It’s always better when you can manage without, but it’s there when you need it. Managing without a med should give you some confidence! xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m so sorry you’re having such a horrible day with so many flashbacks making you feel so ill and so desperate. I hope they get your meds sorted out for tomorrow – it’s really not good that you weren’t given them earlier. I’m glad your time on Facetime with your friend helped you so hopefully, you will be able to enjoy your mum’s visit this evening. Thinking of you as always, my friend. Hugs, Ellie xxx ❤


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