we made it through easter. somehow. with a lot of help. thank god for the weekend team and that it was someone i knew who called me. it was michelle on both saturday and sunday. she was sick though so she is taking Monday off so it will be someone else today who calls me. it was great when it was michelle because she would ask who was fronting, she knows of the did, she has worked with us in the past, both on the psych ward as a nurse and in the outpatients clinic when we were under our last psychiatrist. so she was very familiar with our situation. she talked us through options and told us what we should do if it got to a point that we couldnt manage on our own. we’ve been at our parents all weekend. we slept a lot. that is how i know we arent coping is when we sleep a lot. we were isolating a lot too. our sister came with the kids yesterday so that mom and me could give the kids their easter eggs. it was all we could do to have a shower and be social but we did it for the sake of the kids. they only stayed about an hour and once they left we went back to our room…only coming out for dinner. today monday i have to go home to my own house and get ready to go to hospital later in the week. we’ll probably be going in on wednesday or thursday at the latest if no beds are available on the wednesday. mom is going to come over today with us and help us pack our bag and stuff. i keep telling myself there is just monday to get through as far as easter goes but its not just monday, our birthday is on wednesday and we are so scared of that because of the awful memories it brings up. hopefully dr. barry can find us a bed on wednesday and we can be admitted to hospital then. we’ll be seeing dr. barry on wednesday morning first thing. i’m glad about that. my friend asked me to come over today but I had to decline because I have too much to do in order to get ready to go into hospital. she understood though which was nice.