so i just got home from seeing dr. barry. we had a good apt. we made aplan. i told her we are having a horrendous time of it with flashbacks, high anxiety, intense episodes of highs and lows, suicidal urges, etc. she said she didnt think it was my mood, but more like my emotional state, my emotions are all over the place, and she said its all related to the distress i am going through with the RA dates, and easter, and our birthday next week. So she decided to bring me back into hospital next week. so the plan is for me to have the weekend service this weekend, see dr. barry next wednesday which is our birthday, and then go in to hospital either on wednesday if a bed is available or on thursday if not on wednesday. it all depends on whether a bed will be available or not as to when i get to go in. i’ll only be staying in there for a week. i’ll be discharged on friday the 28th, have the weekend service again that weekend, and then go to respite on the tuesday. i’m much happier knowing there is a plan in place. it takes a load off my mind. dr. barry is going to be away the week after i come into hospital, so she said she will leave instructions for her junior doctors. it sucks that she’ll be away but i do know she needs a break. she said the junior doctors can handle things, and if any decisions about my meds or anything need to be made there will be a consultant there to help them out. they’ll do a ward round on the tuesday and thursday and karen who is the social worker will be with them so at least I’ll know her. I just feel safer knowing i wont be alone, and that I’ll be in hospital at that time. Dr. barry apologised to me that the weekend team never contacted me last weekend. She said it was totally unacceptable and she was going to follow up why that happened and if the referral went in or not r got lost or what not. so now i only have to get through this weekend, but i think i’ll be ok, i’ll be at my parents for most of it. its great that dr. barry gets how difficult things are for me. she’s really good and I’m so lucky to have her. she’s in my corner always. Thanks to her I’ll be safe in hospital next week and our birthday will not be so triggering.