the good news of the day is i got out of hospital! I am so happy! I saw Dr. barry, she knew I wanted to go home, I felt ready. I had told my nurse Amanda that I felt ready and had told her to let dr. Barry know I’d like to be discharged. The session with dr. barry was really helpful. Of course there was a bunch of people in the room again and I wasnt very happy about it but let them stay anyway. I bet they thought this chik is a total fucking nutso because I spent the majority of the session with Dr. barry processing attachment related pain about eileen and the fact that she cant be my mom and adopt me and ya know all the fun of therapy and the pain when you become attached to your therapist and then you realise that you will never be as important to them as they are to you and it fucking sucks ya know? and its causing us a lot of pain right now. so much so that i emailed eileen this morning to tell her. so anyway there were medical students in the room with me and junior doctors and i was talking to dr. barry about all this. and i even said to them, you guys probably think i’m nuts. i mean not many people have this intense level of attachment to their psychiatrist and therapist? not many people want to spray the perfume of one of the nurses on the ward because it just happens to be the perfume that dr. barry wears and we feel close to her when we smell it. not many people wish for their psychiatrist or therapist to be their mom and not many people are jealous of their psychiatrists and therapists kids. so yeah. but dr. barry said it looks like i am ready to be discharged. she said she’d keep my med regime the same for another week, and see me back in clinic next wednesday. she offered me the weekend team for support which i took. i will just get phone support because i’ll be in my moms at the weekend. but if i do need them to call and see me they can do that. i’m happy to be home. nitro was so delighted to see me. he almost broke his leg with all the running around he did and jumping up on me lol. he’s a very happy pooch now that his mommy is home and can spoil him again. thank you to everyone for all of the encouragement and support and messages i recieved while i was in the looney department. it helped a lot you all mean the world to me. love to you all!