frantic

thats how i feel. frantic. my mind is buzzing, thoughts are racing. i feel edgy. anxious. full of anxious thoughts. how will tomorrrow go? i cant sleep. i’m wide awake. all keyed up. just cant settle. no point in even trying. i have the radio on and i am in the living room. nitro is sleeping soundly. i like to be near him. its comforting. i am reading others blogs. and doing computer stuff. probably not the best idea. but i doubt i get any sleep tonight. i am just too unsettled. i feel dissociative. in a fog sorta. like i’m not here, present in my body. it feels like i am blending with some other insiders. but i dont hear them. i cant hear anyones voice. it just feels foggy and i feel far away. i feel a lot of despair. and very suicidal. my thoughts go to my meds. should i take them? then I say to myself, no. dont do it! be strong! wait to see dr. barry. Wait and see what she says tomorrow. its just…soooo hard.
carol anne

Advertisements

Author: manyofus1980

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

7 thoughts on “frantic”

  1. What you are describing has been my mental state for about a week now. Every word. It is so frustrating!!!!! I am so sorry you are unsettled too and in a fog and dissociative. Ugh I hate this! I just want to feel calm and cozy and peaceful and relaxed. I don’t know if I even know what that feels like anymore! I am supposed to distract myself but that is so hard when I am in a fog and I just daze off!!!! Anyway. Thinking of you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks. I don’t know what it feels like to relax either. It’s foreign to me. Hope we can learn how to relax soon. Hard when you’re in so much pain and in the fog and associative. Sending love and support to you. XXX

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s