Internal dialogue

You just need to die.
Your not worth anything, no one loves you. no one would miss you. do it, end it.
Do it now! Its not too late.
Come on, you dont need to think about it, just act, do what you’ve always done, act impulsively. dont think through the consequences.

These are the things the internal voices of psychosis are saying to me right now. Two male voices, who arent insiders, they are just voices that command me to do things, that command me to commit suicide.
I am feeling desperate. I need support. I need all of the friends and support people can give me right now.
I am scared. I am scared of these voices.
They are strong. Are they stronger than me? I think its getting to a point that yes, they are.

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Author: manyofus1980

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

8 thoughts on “Internal dialogue”

  1. i don’t know if this is of any help, but when i read this post, i thought you were reading my mind. i just want to bang my head into the wall until it stops, to make it stop, …i know how hard it is, what you’re feeling right this minute. i just keep gritting my teeth, shaking my head, biting my tongue, running thru all my distractions and running thru them again. i just hope that if we keep resisting, there will be some peace.

    hang in there, and i’ll hang too. and maybe tomorrow will be a less difficult day.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I really hope so. I hope tomorrow is a good day. I’m sorry you’re struggling to. It’s awful isn’t it? You just feel like there is no end to it. Hang in there you two. Hugs and positive vibes going your way xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  2. As long as yhou recognize what the voices really are, then you are indeed stronger than they are. Notice how they never tell you anything positive. They are not your friends. Perhaps you should tell them what to do instead. xxxx

    Like

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