tossing and turning the night away

its 5 Am and I’m still up. I cant sleep. I’ve been on the internet, because lying there thinking, was just not good for me mentally. My thoughts were racing. I was thinking god, I should have drank tonight. Then I’d have slept. Now I’m wide awake. And the likelihood is I wont sleep. My mood is starting to dip. Whether its just the coming down from a high, I dont know. But I am starting to overthink, catastrophise, my mind is starting to go to dark places. Is there ever a reprieve from the torment? I really think not. I think too its the fact its night time, its dark, and I am the only one in the house awake. Even the dog is sleeping peacefully beside me. Its lonely. And there is that little bit of fear too. Fear of the night and all it brings. Fear to go to sleep. Fear in case I’ll have nightmares, or flashbacks. Fear that is crippling. God this never ends!
If anyones around I could use a hug.

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Author: manyofus1980

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

14 thoughts on “tossing and turning the night away”

  1. Hugs to you! I can understand the crash after a good time. It’s a let down to not keep up the momentum. I can understand the obsessive thoughts too. I hope you get some sleep. Time changes mess me up too 🙂

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  2. Not being able to sleep is the pits, because everything also seems worse at night. Also then you don’t have the energy you need during the day. I’ve been having a hard time with this for the last couple of months.

    What does Dr. Barry say about the sleeping?

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    1. she has given me meds prn but i’m like i hate taking them ecause they make me groggy the next day. i’ll try to talk to her about it again. maybe she’ll have other ideas. sorry your also struggling too. xxx

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  3. I think we’re probably in different time zones so it’s a bit late to say hope you get some sleep as you’re probably up and about now. However, at least I can send some {{hugs}} you way and I hope you can sleep tonight. The nights can be so lonely and so scary when you are laying there with a million bad thoughts going round your head, I know. {{{Hugs}}} for tonight anyway, just in case you can use some. Love Ellie xxx ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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