kinda busy thursday feeling low and kinda suicidal

woke up really early today, like it was i think about 4:30 am! couldnt get back to sleep no matter how hard i tried.

tried going online for a while looking at email and blogs but couldnt concentrate so decided i’d make coffee. that still didnt keep me alert so i lay back down and tried to sleep.

my friend rose texted at about 6:45 AM to wish me good luck for my weigh in today so i decided to call her. so we talked for about an hour and a half. she’s been a very good friend to me. she’s a member of the basement club, she has anxiety and bpd and deals with suicidal ideation also.

my pa kristen came at around 8:30. we drove to see karen and then afterwords we were going to pick up my prescription for the new injection. when i got to karens helen the clinic nurse was there and she was asking me if i had the depo because she ws going to give it to me if i did. i told her the dr. hadnt wrote out the prescription yet but that i’d be collecting it today.

we collected it after my appointment but the pharmacy has to order it so they wont be able to deliver it to me until tomorrow at the earliest. i probably wont get it until next week at this stage. i think the fact that i dont have it in my system is effecting me a lot. my mood is all over the place. i feel low and despairing and suicidal at times.

after collecting the injection we came back to my house and kristen cooked a spaghetti bolognes for me. i’m going to have that for dinner today and i froze two portions as well. she also vacumed and mopped my floors, did some ironing, and went to the store to get milk for me.

now i’m at the basement club. its pretty quiet here right now, not many members are in. its coming up to lunch time so i’m sure it will get busy soon. we have the independent living group at 2 PM today. I think we’re going to be focused on personal care and presentation. It should be interesting. Some of the members dont take good care of their appearance and struggle with that. Hell I even struggle with that too sometimes. Sometimes I dont shower every day if I am depressed. Or I dont brush my teeth every day. I have to be reminded.

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Author: manyofus1980

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

6 thoughts on “kinda busy thursday feeling low and kinda suicidal”

  1. I MUST know what spaghetti bologne is!!!! I have never heard of this.
    I was just reading about how important it is for our mental state to get up, brush teeth, shower, get dressed….I read this as I am still in bed after noon in my pjs!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Spaghetti Bolognese is spaghetti in the meat sauce with Yiewsley beef and an Italian sauce and there are usually some vegetables in it as well. It’s really nice. Yes I do think it is important to do self-care and get up and get dressed every day.xxx

      Like

  2. So sorry to hear that you are struggling right now. I’m glad you are sharing with us here so that we can offer support if needed. Be good to yourself, get some rest and take care of you…you deserve it !!!

    Liked by 1 person

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