just finished a mentoring session with colette. it was a really good session. we talked about lots of things. we talked about my sleep. i decided i am going to try to get a bedtime routine in place. usually i just go to bed whenever. but this coming week i am going to go to bed at 11 PM every night. I will take my meds at 10 PM. then I will have a herbal tea, I am going to stop drinking cafinated beverages after 7 PM. I will drink the tea, and watch some tv from 9 PM to 11 PM. Then I will try to sleep. At least then I can say to dr. Barry I am not sleeping, I tried the bedtime routine, and it failed or it worked. Hopefully it will work. We talked about my mood being up and down. I tried to describe to colette how I was feeling. Did not do a good job of that though. Its hard to describe the way my mood is. Its like up and then all of a sudden it plummets. I hate when it happens. We talked about anniversary dates, and I told colette that lately there has been a few dates related to my abuse and she told me to try and think of days when I was strong and did something good, so then I thought of the day I spoke out, the day I told about the abuse, it was in december, and she said I need to celebrate that day. I also told her about the day I decided that I was going to publish my story. She kept saying how strong i am and how i am a hero to so many people. Thats probably not true but it was nice of her to say so. i felt validated. We talked about my inner child. That was a kinda weird conversation. I didnt think she knew about inner child stuff. But we talked about my inner child and she told me that I need to try to keep her safe and protect her. She asked me what do I do when I am having a flashback. I told her I try to talk myself down try to tell myself that its not then and I am safe and its 2017 and I am ok. She said keep talking to your inner child. Tell her she is safe and you will protect her. So that is what I am going to do, except its not just one child, its many kids because of the did. So yeah mentoring was good today.