why am I trying to become something I don’t want to be when all that I want is out there when I know who I am”
What I dont want to be is depressed. Or anxious. Or have up and down moods. I want to be happy. I want to be normal whatever that looks like. I want to be free from the memories and flashbacks of abuse. I want to have a good life. I want to feel content.
I want to be able to relax and be present in my body and mindful and be able to meditate without feeling like its some foreign concept.
I hope I get there some day.