a poem I wrote when I was 18

I wrote this poem to my psychiatrist at age 18. I had been just diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorder. This poem is going into the creative writing booklet the basement club are launching in a few weeks time.

To my psychiatrist

doctor tell me, what do you see
what do you see when you look at me
am i just another patient
just another case
just another name without a face
you just write me a prescription and go on your way
not even listening to what i have to say
one day i’m borderline, the next i’m depressed
you give me some valium so i can get some rest
sedating me wont get rid of my pain
and it wont stop the hurt from returning again
i know that you dont have a lot of time
but i also know that you cant read my mind
a 5 minute chat every time that i call
isnt going to help me much at all
underneath this mask that i wear
is a real person who needs to know that you care
i need to know that there is hope for me
that maybe some day i’ll be medication free
i dont expect you to hold my hand
but i need you to try and understand
i just want to have a normal life
i want to become a mother and wife
most of my problems stem from my past
and once i work on these
i’ll be free at last
i can hold an intelligent conversation
i understand what is happening in the nation
don’t diagnose me from a book on your shelf
please dont classify me with everyone else
i’m not crazy, stupid or slow
i probably know more than some doctors know
i’m going to finish college and get a PHD
i’m going to make it, you wait and see
i need your help now if i’m going to survive
i need your help now to stay alive
so if you’ll just help me a little bit
i know together we can conquer this

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Author: manyofus1980

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

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