so on wednesday of this last week we saw mark. we hadnt seen him in person in a couple of months, maybe i think it was since before xmas. but we’d spoken on the phone a lot. he’s always at the end of a phone if i need anything. he tells me all the time to never hesitate to call him if I need anything. and i dont. so before xmas we were working mostly on work related issues. because remember i wanted to engage in part time employment. but then that didnt work out unfortunately. so now we are going back to the drawing board. we are looking at two things. first of all we are looking at courses i can do which are leisure interest courses. so like maybe to study a second language, or take a yoga class, things like that. i already take voice lessons and it was down to mark that i started doing that. we talked on wednesday about different things i might be interested in doing. for me at least transportation is a huge issue. i have to get taxi’s everywhere i go. so a lot of money is spent on them. and i only get 200 euro a week. and i have to pay bills and eat out of that money as well as pay for transportation. so yeah. it gets expensive. i also get a monthly cheque of 250 euro, but out of that i have to pay for meds, a co-pay of 25 euro, i have to pay for my voice lessons, try to save a little for summer holidays etc. so money goes fast. oh and there is nitro’s food, and vet visits too. so yeah, you can say I’m struggling, but you’d never know it if you did not know me well. so a huge factor in me taking up new things like college courses or activities is being able to get there. there really is nothing much i can do about that. it is what it is my money situation isnt going to change any time soon. but i could maybe do one thing, if i budgeted. so that is the first thing mark is researching for me before we meet again, is leisure interests and courses that are available. the other thing he’s researching for me are college courses that lead to a qualification. but not full time, i said i’d only do part time. mostly because full time seems to lead me into a bad space mentally, a lot of stress and pressure leads to increased ptsd and dissociative symptoms. lots of the colleges offer a lot now part time. i saw one or two courses that i felt i’d be interested in. one was in childcare, not to work in the field, but just to get a recognised qualification and then be able to learn about child development etc I am really interested in that. another course i saw was in disability studies, and then a third one i saw was to train as an advocate. the advocacy course looked terrific. its to work in the field of advocacy with people who have disabilities. its a four month course i think. so those are what i saw that immediately jumped out at me. mark is going to do a ton of research though and find others he thinks i’d like. i told him any that relate to mental illness psychology, childcare, disability, etc. the caring profession maybe too. he knows what I’m interested in I’m sure he’ll find lots. so that is what we spent the majority of our appointment discussing. Oh that and he is also researching where I can buy a weighted blanket because he said having one would be good for our ptsd symptoms. His wife is also an OT so he said she might be able to help, she works with children and adults with SPD and autism and knows a lot is sensory trained too so I’m sure will be a great help. I’ve wanted a weighted blanket now for a while so if I can afford it I’ll buy one soon. Mark did say I should get one that wasnt too heavy just heavy enough to put the right amount of pressure on the body. Realistically I think we’re looking at September before I’ll start any part time course. Unless there are some inexpensive ones running over the summer. I know the one where you’d train to be an advocate costs 500 euro to take. So I’d have to save up for that if I wanted to do it, and they only run it every two years, and right now they are in the middle of running it. But yeah things look good. Thats what I like about mark he always helps me come up with options even if one thing that we are trying doesnt work out.