so I’m not sleeping again. its so frustrating. my friend rose rang, and we had a good long hour long chat. she’s just come out of the psych hospital. it was good to talk to her and it passed some time where I could have otherwise been having crisis thoughts.
I’m trying to stay positive. Eileen wants to work on safety with us. I’m trying to do that. We’re trying to build a team of insiders who can take charge of our internal and external safety. We get very dissociative at times, and its at those times that we really need a system in place to ensure our safety.
Tomorrow morning our PA kristen is going to be here for 2 hours. I have to go collect my prescriptions and do a little grocery shopping. Dont know how I’ll feel about it if I havent slept though. I’ll probably be dragging ass then.
I will be going to the basement club tomorrow afternoon as well. I told Emily I’d volunteer for two hours tomorrow instead of on friday since friday is st. patricks day and the basement club is closed then. Denise who is the co-ordinator is taking me and another member out for coffee and cake tomorrow afternoon. To say thank you to us for doing the talk for the group of college students last week. I’m excited to do that.
Its been on my mind though about my weight loss this week. I havent been working on it as hard as I should have been. And I’m worried I wont be down anything and then I’ll be disappointed. I need to just get motivated I know what I need to do and I just need to get going. Karen is always so encouraging, I hate disappointing her. I know though that ultimately I have to do it for myself and not for anyone else.