THERAPY

WAS HARD TODAY. I STRUGGLED, A LOT.
I TALKED A LOT TO EILEEN ABOUT MY FEELING OF LOSS FOR WHO I USED TO BE. THE PERSON I WAS WASNT A NICE ONE, I WAS ALWAYS ACTING OUT, PEOPLE WERE SCARED OF ME, NOBODY MESSED WITH ME AND THATS THE WAY I LIKED IT.
I’VE KINDA LOST WHO I AM, NOW THAT I AM PROTECTING THE KIDS, BEING THERE FOR THEM, I’M NOT WHO I WAS BEFORE.
I MISS THAT SOMETIMES. I FEEL LIKE I STILL HAVE A LOT TO OFFER THE SYSTEM THOUGH. LOTS OF STRENGTHS.
EILEEN AGREED WITH ME.
WE ALSO TALKED TODAY ABOUT MY ATTACHMENT ISSUES. I AM STRUGGLING BECAUSE PART OF ME DESPERATELY WANTS TO BE CLOSE WITH EILEEN AND FEEL CONNECTED TO HER, BUT PART OF ME PUSHES AGAINST IT AND DOESNT WANT TO TRUST HER AT ALL.
ITS TRICKY. BUT I THINK WE ARE GETTING SOMEWHERE WITH IT NOW. I STILL HAVE A LOT ON MY MIND. BUT I MADE THE FIRST STEPS TODAY TOWARDS BEING MORE OPEN AND AUTHENTIC WITH EILEEN.
LIZ

Advertisements

Author: manyofus1980

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

2 thoughts on “THERAPY”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s