she didnt respond

RIGHT NOW I AM VERY VERY MAD AT EILEEN. I HAVE BEEN MAD AT HER SINCE MONDAY. I HAVENT SAID ANYTHING TO HER YET BUT I PLAN TO THIS COMING MONDAY. I EXPLODED WHILE TALKING TO DR. BARRY TODAY. BASICALLY THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED. ALLIE, WHOSE 9 EMAILED HER IN DESPERATION LAST WEEK. SHE WAS VERY VULNERABLE AND REACHED OUT, SAYING I MISS YOU, I NEED YOU, PLEASE DONT LEAVE ME, DONT HATE ME, AND A COUPLE OTHER THINGS. SHE WAS REALLY DESPERATE FOR SOME CONNECTION. WELL, EILEEN IGNORED HER EMAIL, NEVER RESPONDED TO HER. THEN, ON MONDAY SHE CASUALLY SAID TOWARDS THE END OF OUR SESSION, OH, BY THE WAY, I GOT ALLIE’S EMAIL, JUST WANTED HER TO KNOW I GOT IT. AND I’M LIKE WHAT? YOU GOT IT AND YOU IGNORED HER AND NOW YOUR TELLING US AND YOU EXPECT US TO SAY COOL EILEEN, THATS COOL, THANKS? I WASS SO SO MAD! ALLIE WAS CRYING INCONSOLABLY SAYING THAT EILEEN HATED HER. I ASKED EILEEN IF SHE STILL LIKED ALLIE, EVEN THOUGH I KNOW SHE DOES, JUST SO THAT WE COULD REASSURE ALLIE. SHE REASSURED HER THAT YES SHE STILL LIKES HER. BUT THIS IS REALLY FUCKING BAD. I CANT BELIEVE SHE CHOSE TO IGNORE HER EMAIL. THE KIDS HERE DONT REACH OUT UNLESS THEY ARE REALLY FUCKING DESPERATE. THEY ARE TOO SCARED OF REJECTION OR ABANDONMENT. IT TAKES A LOT FOR ONE OF THEM TO REACH OUT. I AM PROTECTIVE OF THE KIDS. I DONT LIKE TO SEE THEM HURT. EILEEN HAS HURT ALLIE, WHETHER SHE MEANT TO OR NOT SHE HAS. AND IT MAKES ME REALLY FUCKING ANGRY. DR. BARRY SAID I SHOULD TALK TO HER ABOUT IT. AND I WILL ON MONDAY. IT SEEMS WE ARE ANGRY AT HER A LOT LATELY. AND AS DR. BARRY SAID TODAY, SOMETIMES THE THERAPY HAPPENS OUTSIDE OF THE SESSION, AND IN THIS CASE I THINK IT IS HAPPENING OUTSIDE OF OUR SESSION, WE ARE PROCESSING A LOT. EILEEN REALLY MESSED UP BIG TIME IN THIS. DR. BARRY DID POINT OUT TO ME THAT SHE IS CONSISTENT, AND CONSISTENCY IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF A THERAPUTIC RELATIONSHIP, I AGREE WITH HER IT IS. AND EILEEN HAD AGREED TO RESPOND TO SOME EMAILS BUT NOT ALL. SHE WILL RESPOND IF ITS WARRANTED, THATS THE AGREEMENT WE HAD. SO SHE THOUGHT ALLIE’S EMAIL WASNT AN EMAIL THAT NEEDED A RESPONSE? HOW DO YOU NOT RESPOND TO A VERY SCARED, VULNERABLE LITTLE GIRL? I JUST DONT KNOW WHY SHE CHOSE NOT TO RESPOND!

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Author: manyofus1980

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

6 thoughts on “she didnt respond”

  1. Wow. I’m sorry guys. Our agreement with Libby’s T (my rule) is every email gets a response even if just to say “thank you for the email” I expect him to recognize their existence and effort in sending an email and reaching out. Perhaps that could be a possibility in the future? If not, I would highly reccomend creating a contingency plan for situations like these. A big part of my reasoning for this rule for my teammates is the fact that I need them to not feel as though emails that don’t receive responses are ‘not important enough’ or that anything they have to say for that matter is not imprtant enough. I need them to learn through the therapist’s actions that they matter and what they have to say regarless of when or how IS important and worthy of acknowledgement and reply. I totally feel for ya (sorry I think I missed who I’m speaking with) but I feel for ya. I’d be heated alright. We recently had minor issues with Libby’s T and I had her ask him if his response to what she said was due to him not thinking she was relevant and deserving of validation, I’ve found that the more pinpointed the questions to truly show how much devastation things can cause, the better. Seriously though, I feel for ya, am here if ya need me. *much respect to a fellow protector* Jer

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi there, it’s Liz, sorry, I should’ve said who I was in the post, I meant to. I am definitely going to talk to Eileen on Monday about this. It needs to be brought out into the open. Thanks for your support. XXX

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  2. Hi Liz. I’m really sorry Eileen didn’t respond. I guess it’s just one of those things. We’re human and we make mistakes. I would just point out to her what you’ve said here, that the little ones don’t reach out unless they’re really desperate and Ali really was. I know she’s been upset since the Valentine card thing with Dr. Barry. I hope you can reassure her that it’s still okay to reach out. hugs. xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Liz, I’m so sorry. Bea usually responds but I remember a few times she didn’t, and it was really hurtful. It took us a long time to work through that. If it’s okay, I’d like to offer Ali hugs, because I know how sad she must be, and hugs for you because I know how yucky it feels to be so let down. Eileen is human, and mistakes happen, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt, I hope you talk to Eileen about this, and maybe you guys can come up with a better plan for email so this doesn’t happen again. Xx

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    1. I hope we can come up with a better plan. I will definitely talk to her on Monday. I might even text her tomorrow and tell her that I’m feeling a bit angry with her. I think about It Liz XXX

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