My Sexuality

I’ve been thinking. I always thought I was a lesbian and only had feelings for women. But now I realise thats not totally true. And I think I may actually be BI. I like men a little, not as much as I like women but I do like them and have been with one man sexually a couple times in the past. In fact it is the friend I am visiting this weekend. No we havent been sexual. And we arent going to be. But I do like him and I think I like him in more than just a friend sorta way.
Does that make me bad? I mean I have a partner. But things havent been ok for us for a while. For one thing she is liveing in the USA. Long distance relationships are hard at the best of times. Add in to the mix that she is in in a residential psych unit and I dont talk to her often. And when we do talk I am always the one asking her how she is and I seem to be the one who worries about her etc. She rarely asks me anything about my life now or how I am or anything. Everything during our conversations centres around her.
My needs arent being met at all in the relationship. And it makes me sad because I really do love her. And I only want the best for her.
But all this has just made me think of my sexuality and how nowadays even though I am in a relationship it isnt really working out. And I dont knwow what to do.
Any advice appreciated.


Author: manyofus1980

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

4 thoughts on “My Sexuality”

  1. Just talking from experience, I would end the relationship you are in. If there isn’t mutuality, there isn’t much of a relationship. Both people need to be interested in each other. That is how it works. One sided relationships hurt. I’ve been in a few of them and been burned by them. It’s not easy to end relationships but I think once you do, you will feel better.

    It’s ok of you are bi. Everyone is on a spectrum. I’ve never had interests in guys but I like the way they look. Some of them I love but there is no sexual component to it. I love women and always have. Sexually have always been interested in women. Hope this makes sense.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I agree. Our feelings and attractions shouldn’t be measured solely by “what gender am I attracted to”, but rather “is my attraction healthy”? Everyone has a variety of thoughts and feelings about others, but the silly thing Western culture is doing right now is saying “I feel it, therefore it’s good for me.” I agree, there is no reason to think that attraction to women meant “I am a lesbian.” Wouldn’t it be more appropriate to gauge if your attractions are healthy or not?

    Liked by 1 person

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