this morning i had a check in with ann of the weekend team. we only talked for a couple of minutes. basically, she asked me if i was safe. i told her i was safe, since i was at mom and dads house. but i told her i did have thoughts of wanting to end it, and they were coming and going. she never asked me if i had a plan. i didnt but i’d have thought she would have asked at least. she asked about my sleep and i told her i had not gone to sleep until after 3 AM last night. And I was up again at 8 30 this morning. she asked me if i’d drank less tea, i said no that i hadnt cut down yet. but that i planned to do it this week. she said maybe i needed to try it before i see dr. barry on wednesday. i told her i have some berry herbal tea and i’d try it instead of caffinated tea. of course i still need to try that because the tea i’ve drank today has been caffinated. she asked me what other things i was doing to cope. and i told her i was using distraction techniques mostly. i told her i was mostly reaching out to my friends online, reading, listening to music, and watching tv. oh and writing. those are all of my go to techniques when things get hard. she encouraged me to continue with all of those.
I feel really proud of myself right now. Despite my back being put out, I have managed to exercise today. I didnt do any yesterday or on Friday and I decided today needed to be the day when I started back on the treadmill again. I’d been wearing a heat pad all day to try to relax the muscles in my back. And I managed 15 minutes on the treadmill. I was going to do 30 minutes but I decided I’d better not push myself too hard in case I really hurt my back and cant move tomorrow. It felt good to exercise and I feel refreshed after it. I plan to do 15 minutes every day until the weigh in on Thursday. I ate a couple of bad things this week so far so I need to not eat anything else thats bad. Yesterday I ate a bar of chocolate, and some fries. Today I had a piece of apple pie with custard. Thats it now for the rest of this week. Its time to get serious about the weight loss again.
My nephew is sick. My sister took him to the doctor this afternoon. He has a chest infection and the doctor gave him an antibiotic. He in good spirits even though he’s sick. My niece is also sick with a heavy cold. She didnt need the doctor though. Not sure if my sister will send them to school tomorrow or not.