so we saw dr. barry yesterday. we had a good apt. she had a med student in with her. she asked me before we went in if i wanted the student to sit out or stay. i said it was ok if she stayed. she has to learn and i didnt mind her hearing how we were doing. i’d say though she got a shock. because we were doing really bad. dr. barry asked us about our mood. i told her how low it has been lately. i told her how suicidal i have felt. she said did i think it was due to all that i’ve been dealing with. i said yes. she said i’ve been compartmentalising a lot. i agree i have, its true. its hard not to. i dont even notice i am doing it until someone points it out to me. actually i think it was two weeks ago and dr. barry pointed out that my anxiety was related to life stressers, and I was trying to compartmentalise it and wasnt connecting that it was related to my current stress levels. we discussed my sleep and i told her i hadnt started the new med yet. there was a mix up at my pharmacy and the med wasnt ready until today. they delivered it to me today so i will start it tonight. i really have to get my sleep under control. it is way off and i am not sleeping hardly at all, maybe 1 or 2 hours a night which is broken sleep. we talked about therapy and i told her about the things we’d been working on for the past two weeks. i told her about the resistance we’d been having. we talked a little about attachment stuff. at the end she asked me if I needed the weekend team this weekend. I said yes. She said she’d make a referral and get them to do a home visit on both Saturday and Sunday. Just as I thought the appointment was coming to an end she said “we were wondering, can the med student use your case for a class discussion?” I hesitated but then said yes. Can she talk to you and ask you some questions? Um, i guess so? Maybe we can wait until your feeling a little better, do it next week? No, do it now, I want to distract myself, it will be a good distraction. Are you sure? Yes…I’m sure. Ok then, I’ll see what room is free. AFter finding a room for us she took me to the room and the med student sat down and began asking me some questions. Dr. barry said if I felt overwhelmed to tell her and she’d wrap things up. She told the med student to knock at her door when we were done and she’d come back and see me for another little while. The questions were hard to answer. Some of them were about how long I’d been in the mental health system. Some were about my childhood. Some were about my mood and suicidal ideation and ptsd and my having did. She was a fourth year med student. I told her a lot. She told me she is really interested in becoming a psychiatrist. I am glad I talked to her. She didnt make me feel uncomfortable and her questioning wasnt too intrusive. Dr. Barry had told her not to go too indepth and just to ask basic background questions. And she did that and did it well. Once we were done I had to wait for about 10 minutes because dr. barry was in with someone else and so I had to wait until she was finished seeing that patient. Then she came and talked to me, she kept asking if I was ok after talking to the med student, and was I sure I was ok. She is so sweet and mindful of how hard it is for me to open up to a stranger. She walked me out and made a new apt for me for next week. She gave me the option to come in on MOnday if I wanted to but I said I could wait the full week and just come in on Wednesday. After we made the new appointment she walked me out to where my mom and sister were waiting in the car for me. She said hi to my mom and my mom was like is that dr. barry? When I got in the car. I was like yeah, it was. She said she looked different from the last time she’d met her in the hospital. i am so lucky to have such a caring and mindful doctor who really gets me and what I might need. Thanks, dr. Barry, your the best!