MOndays apt with dr. barry was great. She is prescribing a new sleep med for us. I asked her if I could have ativan but she said no. She said she did not want to go down that road because she did not want to add addication to my problems. I get it. I think its cool that she cares about me and my wellbeing. She did offer an alternative though. I am trying halcion for 2 weeks to see if I can get some proper rest. i havent started it yet will start it on thursday night. I’ve heard good and bad things about it. One person said their friend was on it and found it life saving. Another person said there are really bad side effects to it. So we shall see. I hope I dont get any nasty side effects. We talked about my anxiety and the overwhelm I am feeling and dr. Barry thinks I am compartmentalising things. She said sometimes that can be a good thing, because it allows me to go on and act normal, even though I have a lot going on. I guess she’s right. I still dont really understand the whole compartmentalising things. I dont even know or realise that I am doing it. I asked dr. barry if i could go back to once a week appointments. I want to try it out and see how I will manage. Dr. Barry agreed but said if I need to we can go back to twice a week again. That is good to know. I am seeing her again this morning. I cant wait. Still very depressed and suicidal. Will talk to her about it when I see her.