i just want to die. i need to die. i am bad. i am ugly. i am horrible and a horrible person. i am useless. i am so sad. i am unsure. unsure of things and of whether i really have a purpose in the world. i feel so empty. so overwhelmed, so sad. just awful and it is hard. i need a friend. i need someone to hug me. but i am alone. i am alone and trying to manage. trying, unsuccessfully. death would be welcome.