Good morning world

its a very cold morning here where I live. Temps are only at 39 F. Thats brrrrr cold!
I slept well. I went to bed early and feel like I got some really good sleep for the first time in a while. Because I’ve slept well my mood is good this morning. I’ve been awake though since around 3 AM. I watched tv for a while, stupid dr. Phil. I dont know why I watched his show. I dont even like the man. But there wasnt much to choose from in the middle of the night. I eventually got up and showered and ate breakfast. I’m doing well with the weight loss. I am also doing well with my healthy eating plan. I havent caved and ate junk food or drank fizzy drinks. I’m proud of that fact.
I was meant to call over to visit my friend yesterday evening. My friend only lives a couple of mins away from where I live. She had called me yesterday saying she felt really suicidal. I tried to comfort her and asked her if she had a plan. She said she was thinking about how to do it, what the best way would be. That sort of scared me so I offered to come over to keep her company once my home help left. My friend is blind and has severe mental illnesses including psychosis and severe anxiety disorder and suicidality. She isnt under the care of a psychiatrist right now, only her GP. She has had bad experiences in the past with psychiatrists and is distrustful of them. She does take meds though, a lot of them. Just as I was about to leave to go visit her my stomach started cramping really bad. Not sure why that was but I ended up not being able to go. So I got on the phone and spent a while on the phone talking with her. She lives alone and is kind of isolated and she doesnt have many friends so I was sad I wasnt able to visit her.
I’m having a home visit from the weekend mental health team this morning. They should call me at around 10 AM and then one or two not sure will come out to visit me. I dont know who will call though. I dont know who is on duty this weekend. I tried to find out by asking karen my nutritionist, because she works on the weekend team but she didnt know either. So I suppose we’ll just have to wait and see who calls. They’ve never done a home visit before. I’m wondering how it will go.
Afterwords I am going to my parents until Tuesday. I dont have any plans for the rest of the weekend. I will probably try to have another talk to mom, I know she’s been worrying about Monday and the scan and what the results of that will be. I asked her yesterday and she admitted to me that yes she felt worried but she said she isnt overly worried. That is good I guess but I am making up for it by overly worrying. I am desperately trying not to catastrophise like dr. barry told me not to do. Its so difficult though. How am I not supposed to worry, this is a serious thing. The scan is on Monday at 9:15 AM so please everyone keep praying and keep us in your thoughts.

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Author: manyofus1980

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

2 thoughts on “Good morning world”

  1. you are in my thoughts, always. I know right now is difficult with your mom’s impending diagnosis. I know the sooner you have answers, the calmer everyone will be. Reach out if you need to. I will be around this weekend, though not during the football game (American football). Game is at 8 EST. I am excited because I can watch the game on the big TV my sister has and rest comfortably in her bed. Go Pats!

    Liked by 1 person

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